This choice: Cut to Dr. Eggman, raging about his latest defeat, formulating a new plan • Go Back...Chapter #3Scratch and Grounder make a joke by: Lomax   In a darkened lair, only illuminated by the dim glow of computer panels, a figure fumed with vexation, stomping back and forth in a circular motion like he was trying to cut a hole through the floor with his feet.
Dr. Ivo Robotnik, known as Eggman to most, was trying his very hardest not to explode into a angry tantrum as he was informed of today's casualties. His fists were shaking as the long list of resources, weapons and chaos emeralds wasted were read out to him.
In the corner of the futuristic room a regiment of robotic henchmen stood, whispering to each other and trying to avoid the attention of the enraged doctor. A green mole and metal chicken stood out from the crowd, joking and arguing with each other louder than any dared.
"Bah!" Eggman shouted, "A thousand badniks and a thousand traps, and not a scratch on him! Worthless! You're all unfit to be called my creations!" He slammed his firsts down on the control panel below him, shutting off the information screen, casting the room in a blue glow as error screens popped up all across the room.
There was a snigger from the crowd, and Dr. Robotnik swiveled in the direction from where it came.
"Oh, one of you thinks that's funny, do you?..."
The regiment of henchmen stood stiff and unblinking, like deer caught in the headlights with Eggman's sinister glare on them.
"Come on, out with it. I want to know what's so funny. Which one you you thought that was funny?" A sick, almost gleeful grin was spread across his face as he talked, but the crowd remained motionless.
"... Oh, silent now? Alright, you miserable lot of bolts and scrap-metal, if you don't tell me who was having a chuckle in the next five seconds I'm going to send all you down the incinerator!"
In a frantic second there was about twenty robotic hands all pointing to the mole and chicken, Scratch and Grounder.
Dr. Eggman stomped up to the pair of robots, now shaking with fear, and looked them over with curiosity.
"Hmmm... you! Rooster-"
"The name is Scratch sir - eep!" the chicken cut off as Eggman lean forward, threatening with his eyes not to interrupt again.
"So, pray tell, what was it that was so funny?"
"...i-i-I... it was Grounder here sir, he was laughing... sir!" Scratch said shifting the blame to his associate. The green digger robot's face almost went white if that was possible as Dr. Eggman glanced down toward him.
"Uhhh, no fair! It was Scratch here who told the joke!" Grounder replied, trying to shift the blame right back. With his left arm he knocked the rooster, who stuck right back, and in a instant they were both in a small fist fight, until Eggman lost his patience with the two morons and yelled, "Silence!" Grabbing them both by the head and slamming them into each other, knocking both down to the ground.
Dr. Eggman stood over the chicken, "Now, would you please tell me about this little joke of yours? I'm always in the mood for a laugh."
Scratch was sweating bullets as he looked at his scared reflection in the boss' black glasses, "I.. uh... uh..."
"Out with it!"
"I was just saying uh... just saying how... it was ironic we were unfit to be made by you when, um, cause you're so.... fat!" Scratch blurted out, as if he could say it quickly enough it his boss might not hear it.
Dr. Eggman raised an eyebrow at the comment, pausing for a moment as if in deep contemplation.
The stupid robots hugged each other, dreading the punishment they were about to receive for badmouthing the boss while he was pissed off.
...
Until Eggman finally replied, "Ha-HA! You're RIGHT!"
The entire room was confused, especially the two dumb-bots who had expected Dr. Eggman was about to drag them off to the the room where they crush things into little cubes.
"I've been thinking about this all wrong! My problem with Sonic and his furry pals, all this time I've been trying to built robots good enough to beat biological specimens in perfect physical condition! How utterly foolish, when all along I should have been trying to weaken that blasted hedgehog! Only then then, when he's more unfit than me.. er, my robots will he fail!" boldly declared Dr. Eggman, who broke out into a fit of evil laughter.
Scratch and Grounder looked on bewildered, but slowly began to relax and actually started to join in with the evil laughter, "Bwa-haha-ha-HAA, that's a brilliant idea oh genius master sir, but uh, how do you plan on do it?"
Dr. Eggman chuckled darkly, and looked down at the robot rooster.
--------
A little time later, in Dr. Eggman's personal lab, Scratch was strapped to a large metal table with lots of nasty looking lasers and sharp medical implements pointed at him.
"I said I was sorry..." the chicken feebly croaked out, but the doctor simply ignored him as he went about pressing buttons and flipping switches. Grounder was watching from the side-lines, spared from the punishment but still worried for his friend. A short while later Eggman stopped and faced his captive audience.
"I hope my volunteer is feeling comfortable..." Eggman spoke with a sly grin, and Scratch weakly tugged on the tight bonds keeping him on the table, "heh, I know you must be feeling honored - being the first ever test subject for my latest creation - but I assure you, if this fails and you die horribly, we can always try again on you little friend here" he indicated to Grounder.
"And, uh, w-what is this operation supposed to do again?" Grounder asked meekly.
"Good question, Part One, the easy part, DE-robotization!" Dr. Eggman roared as he pulled a large blue switch. A thunderous boom reverberated around the room as a flurry or lasers fired on the helpless robot chicken. A flash of blinding light filled the room, and light the smell of smoke filled the air.
Almost a minute went by until it suddenly stopped, and what was left on the table was... Scratch, seemingly unchanged. "Wha? I'm alive! I'm alive!" the idiot cheered.
"More than you've ever been" Eggman declared, and walked up to the table. "w-What do ya mean?" Scratch asked wearily, and Dr. Eggman simply poked Scratch in the chest, then plucked out a small grey feather. "100% flesh and bones" Eggman muttered with a bit of disdain, "not hardly as good as nice clean metal... but it suits you" he sneered.
Scratch gulped, it was true, he could feel it, he could even see his heartbeat faintly pumping up and down in his chest. Scratch almost passed out from the shock, but Eggman slapped him, knocking him to his senses.
"And now for Part Two, and who better to test this on than our resident expert on fat jokes..."
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