It was a normal day for Jake. Rather, it was normal to some; mind-numbingly boring to him. He had been hunched over his police scanner for 6 hours now and there was nothing going on. There were no fires, muggings, robberies, car-jackings. Not even a jay-walker. It seemed that he was doing too good of a job safe-guarding the city. The young boy groaned and leaned back in his chair blowing the occasional spit bubble. Suddenly the scanner crackled to life, startling Jake into toppling back out of his chair. He strained to listen for the important crap. Robbery….2nd National bank…hostages….suspects heavily armed....Fuck yeah! Jake donned his heroic garb, clicked his boomerangs, rebreather, grappling hook, smokebombs, lowlight goggles, foamate explosives, tasers, extendable quarterstaff, biofoam injectors and several other gadgets whose exact function he had yet to work out. Lastly, he put on his mask. “Show time!” he said and leapt heroically out his window, or rather crashed through the glass and tumble clumsily into the alley.
“You! I said kneel!” A thug shouted through his gasmask as he slammed the butt of his rifle into a hostage’s stomach. The man groaned in pain and collapsed onto the ground with the others whimpering as some other gasmasked ruffians held them at gunpoint. A woman clad in a purple and yellow jumpsuit strutted past them. Her demeanor commanded an aura of authority; the masked men bowed as she walked past and the hostages shuttered and whimpered.
Megabutt was pleased that her plan was coming together, but couldn’t contain a tired sigh. Thievery was so beneath her; a task for common rabble, not a deity. But funding was an unfortunate necessity in her plan to uplift the world into a golden age under the divine rule of her buttocks. The villainess sashayed up to the mighty steel door of the vault where some of her men were waiting. She turned around and took a deep breath. Then, with a grunt, her asscheeks exploded out to a ten times their size and she thrusted her hips back into the obstruction. The three-foot metal of the door bent like cardboard as she slammed into it. Megabutt smirked and slammed her ass into it again and again, making the metalwork bow and crunch until it dropped from its hinges with a loud clang. The self-proclaimed goddess smirked at the bewildered faces of her captives as her cheeks shrank back to a “normal” size.
“Empty the coffers,” She ordered, “ Line the hostages up…” She grinned evilly, “…for tribute.”
“You heard her! Move it!” her cronies shouted, firing their weapons in the ceiling as the corralled the hostages into a line. Some other henchmen began stuffing duffle bags with the stacks of bills in the opened vault and dragging them to the back where the escape vehicle was waiting. Megabutt smiled again with self-satisfaction as she walked up to the first of the hostages; a man. She pulled her tights down, allowing her massive cheeks to pop out. She chuckles as she spread them wide and sat a’top the startled man’s head. The massive weight of her ass forced her to sink down, shoving the terrified man up into her tight puckered anus. She grinned at how the other prisoners were watching in horror as the man was being shoved up into a dark, smelly demise. With a shimmy of her hips, her cheeks soon came to rest upon the marble floor. She sighed and lifted her rump up to reveal that her victim was completely devoured; vanished into the abyss between her cheeks. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as she cut a huge, satisfied fart.
The thick, toxic fumes pervaded throughout the room, making the remaining hostages cough and choke. Her thugs chuckled, safe behind their masks. Megabutt smiled and spoke, “You should feel honored. Not only do get to inhale my divine fumes, but you will join him in becoming part of the glory that is my ass!” She side-stepped to her next victim; a whimpering girl. The villainess grinned and began to lower her huge, hungry rump when there was a loud crash and gunfire from behind her.
Megabutt’s men looked in the direction of the noise when one was struck in the head from by a raven-shaped boomerang, rendering him unconscious. Jake then quickly tossed another boomerang that knocked out another thug. Two more attempted to seize the hero. Jake smirked as he produced the collapsible quarterstaff from his belt and spun it over his head, clocking both brutes in the face. The remaining henchmen opened fire blindly with their weapons. Jake leapt and glided with on retractable wings to dodge the incoming fire. In a break of luck the thugs did not take into account at all the fact that firing on full-auto, while cinematic, depletes ammo quickly. As they realized their blunder and attempted to reload Jake swooped into one then dispatched the others with a few well-placed jabs, chops and kicks. All that remained was him and his nemesis.
“Ah, why if it isn’t the ever-defiant heretic?” Megabutt asked, circling Jake, “I still have a place for you right here.” She said, slapping her right asscheek, “Along with that feline-obsessed tart here.” She added and slapped her left cheek.
Jake smirked and matched her movements, circling her as well. “I’m afraid you’ll be saving those spaces for a long while yet. And what’s up with the bank robbery? Your fart-sniffing goons not tithing enough?”
Megabutt sneered at him. “My divine design is far too lofty for your meager mind to understand. A pity you will not see it come to fruition…”
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