It landed on purple. "Don't pick up the card!" warned Dad. "Blue is male and pink is a girl, white is for babies and purple's a pearl. What in the name of Dante's tale, does that like mean?" exclaimed Mum. To Dad's horror, Mum went from being a chubby woman over the age of 45 into a tall, statuesque Duchess of Cambridge lookalike. "I like your new look, Irene!" I giggled. "Yes, I suppose that I look rather fabulous and hot and stuff!" she responded, again alternating between an accent of English nobility and spoiled Valley Girl teenager. "I am calling the game's manufacturers, this minute! It's Wan Der Rerrocks Corporation of Johannesburg, South Africa." declared Dad
"Aren't you going to roll the dice and stuff, Daddy? Tabby, Irene and I don't mind. I love being a lesbian cheerleader!" you declare. "Yeah, showering with Penny is like totally awesome!" agreed Tabby. "Your names are Tommy, Mum and Mike! And I won't roll some idiotic dice and.." but to Dad's horror, the dice rolled itself. It landed on black, a colour we hadn't seen before. A black card flew out of the game's front cover into my hands. "For refusing to play the game, a terrible penalty shall be wrought. For what you have done, enjoy the trouble you brought!" I read out out. "Daddy, you're glowing!" squealed Tabby. Before your shocked eyes, your Dad was turning into....
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