This choice: Some weird cooking utensils • Go Back... Next to a dusty stack of VCRs and partly beside a crack porcelain statue of a frog, you find a box filled with -- well, maybe the reason it caught your eye is that you're not exactly sure what it is. It's a oddly-shaped, heavy plastic lump with a handle, a row of buttons, and several slots for attachments, most of which are in the bottom of the box. The green and orange color scheme makes the device look like a fossilized chunk of 100% pure Seventies, but despite its age, it seems to be working well enough. At least the cord isn't frayed, and nothing rattles when you give it an experimental shake.
A yellowed instruction manual lies at the bottom of the box -- unfortunately, it's missing most of its pages, but the intro congratulates you on the purchase of a ZonCo Meal-O-Matic, and promises a lifetime of "unforgettable" and "irresistable" culinary delights. Whatever. It might be fun to mess around with, and it's only a dollar. You head to the owners and fork over one wrinkly George Washington.
"What is that thing?" your mother asks.
"Meal-O-Matic, mom."
"Oh, I think they used to advertise those when I was a kid!" she says in sudden recognition. "I don't know why they went off the market."
"Probably because they weigh a ton." You feel like your wrist is breaking just holding it up.
"Does it work?"
"I... guess? I'd have to try plugging it in."
"Well, I was about ready for a lunch break, anyway. Why don't we go home and I'll whip something up with our new little toy?"
Oh, great. You were hoping for fast food; now it looks like you've just shopped your way into your mom's home cooking, and she's about as good at cooking as a broken cement mixer. Neither you nor your dad wanted to hurt her feelings by informing her of this...
"No, uh, how about I cook something? I want to try it out."
You look at the box of parts on the ride home, but can't figure out exactly what they're for -- the shapes are so weird, they don't seem useful for anything. However, the small piece of the instructions remaining does mention two of them in passing, the Delish-O-Wand and the Slim-U-Stick. Apparently, the Delish-O-Wand "makes any meal absolutely irresistable -- one bite, and you'll be hooked!" while the Slim-U-Stick "turns even the fattiest dish into a dieter's dream!" You can't find out any information on the other attachments.   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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