Being the teenage girl that you were, you usually would spend about a third of the day on your cell phone. And considering that your smart phone was taken away, you figured that a toy phone would be the next best thing. You needed your fix one way or another.
You kneeled down onto the carpet and grabbed the toy cell phone. It was a plasticky pink and had a flower decal on the back side. It was kind of large, but to your surprise, had actual buttons and a screen. You weren't sure what to expect with this thing, so you hit the power button and waited in suspense. While the phone was booting up, you were greeted by a compressed, electronic voice.
"Hello, welcome to baby's first phone. My name is Alice, and I am here to walk you through this cellular device. In order to operate the cell phone, you must press 7 numbers and hit the talk button. If you don't know your numbers, please have an adult review them with you, toodles."
You were speechless after hearing that start up. On one side, you wanted to destroy the thing and never have to put up with that voice again, but on the other hand, the phone could be used to call for help. You decided to call for help and see what happens. First you typed in your parents phone number. The buttons felt cheap but durable, like they were meant to be handled by small children. After about 15 seconds, somebody picked up on the other end.
"Why hello there, I'm the ABC professor, I can answer any questions you have about the alphabet. How may I help you?"
"Wait, WHAT??? Who the hell is this?!?" You asked in a mix between anger and pure confusion.
"Hey there,". The man said, "Little girls should've be saying naughty words. Do you want to lose dessert privileges?."
You hung up right then and their. You had no idea who that was, but he certainly wasn't your parents. And that remark about losing dessert seemed to linger in your head... The next logical step was to try and call the cops. You proceeded to dial the number and once again waited. When the other end picked up, it wasn't a person but an answering machine.
"Thank you for calling the police, if you are afraid that there is a boggyman in your closet, press 1. If you are having trouble using the potty, press 2. If you would like a lullaby to help you sleep, press 3.
You didn't know what in the world was happening, you without a doubt called the right number. Out of desperation, you pressed 2.
"Hello." A sweet sounding, young woman answered. "How may I assist you."
"HELP, PLEASE!" you responded. "I was kidnapped and I'm stuck in a strange room with a diaper on."
"If your in a diaper, then you don't need to use the potty, silly." The woman replied.
"No, you don't understand, the diaper won't come off."
"But if the diaper were to come off, then you could mess your adorable clothes."
"But that's not the problem, the problem is that..."
(The woman cut you off.)
"How old are you?" She asked.
"What?" You questioned her, taken back by her remark.
"I want to know how old you are dear."
"I, I'm fif-fifteen". You answered.
"Oh, so you are a big girl then."
"Ugh...yeah"
"We'll if that's the case, then I suggest using a training potty, it's not as scary as the real thing, and it won't matter if you have an accident as long as you also remember to wear your diapers."
With that she hung up the phone on you.
Talking to all of these crazy people was strange. You felt like they were getting to you in a sort of way. Like you were going to catch their crazy.
Despite your gut, you decided to call another number. You dialed it and waited for an answer.
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