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Chapter #3
Dani finds a note from Tammy explaining her curse.
by: Unknown
"Dayum", she sighed as she ventured into the kitchen. "What on earth is wrong with me?" A southerly "FUURP!" jolted her senses as she began brewing a strong pot of coffee. "Hmmmm, wow!" she thought as a vile cloud of noxious gas surrounded her. She shook her head stuck some bread in the toaster and chomped on a couple of antacids. An enormous cramp expanded her abdomen as she settled on the couch with her toast and coffee. She clutched her stomach and tried to breathe through the intense discomfort. She wanted to reach for the remote but didn't quite dare. When the pain finally eased she leaned forward emitting a long squeaking sound into the cushions. She shook her head again and noticed a piece of folded paper on the coffee table with her name on it.
"Dear Dani, I am certain you are feeling quite unwell this morning. After years of careful consideration I have seized upon this opportunity to repay you for your lack of kindness and compassion. Perhaps you have forgotten the violations of the past, so let me refresh your memory. It was in the sixth grade when you began attempting to humiliate me by shouting at me with your friends. By the eighth grade I was known as 'Stinky Arbuckle', 'Polly Poopybutt' and 'Fanny Flatulence' due to your taunts. I am who I am and will always be proud of my avant garde talents and unique beauty however, you obviously must be enlightened. Hence, I've decided, with an ass as rotund as yours, who deserves better than you to share in the delights of the uncontrollable toxic emissions that have been bestowed upon me? You took Bobby Smith from me back in the day, you will be hardpressed to find a man to even stand near you now that you are cursed with Slacking Sphincter Sydrome. Good Luck. Tammy"
"OH MY GOD!" she wailed as she scurried to the bathroom. Intense pain radiated through her intestinal tract. She didn't know if she needed to have a bowel movement or vomit first! Sweatbeads rose on her forehead and she began to pant. Deep inside her stomach came a gurgling and rumbling the likes of which she had never experienced before. She planted her ample caboose on the toilet seat and began to pray...
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