Sara looked closer at the ad for the universal remote, and it was promising all sorts of strange things, saying that it could "rearrange" your life in unbelievable ways and work on "anyone and anything" despite looking like a regular TV remote at a glance. Sara glared at it and scoffed.
It took this story long enough to get to the part where one of these things shows up! Do I even need to say how many times one of these swapping remotes has been done? Well, in this branch I don't even have anybody around to experiment on it with or bug me, even if I did I don't have one of your weirdo swapping fantasies, and I've seen the ones where these things get broken or get their batteries lost or something so while I'm in this branch all I'm gonna do is skip to that part as soon as I can before anything gets swapped! The only thing I'd wanna switch out is these weirdo authors trying to force me into weird crap!
Sara hit the "order" button, and nothing seemed to happen - but seconds later, the doorbell rung mysteriously. I'm sure that's just one of the neighbors coming to visit... not. Sara went to the front door and tried to open it... but found she was locked inside. Looking through the peephole, though, nobody seemed to be there. Oh, you forgot about that, huh? Well, guess that means I don't have to... As she turned around, Sara saw a mysterious white box on the ground that wasn't there before. "I wonder how that got there," Sara sarcastically grumbled, unamused before crouching down, looking in and finding the remote and a manual. Throwing an object of such power away, Sara decides to have a skim through the manual.
Might as well have a look... Way, way too many different traits to swap given their own buttons when it would be way easier if it had a screen to scroll through them... Switch with a bunch of options for who’s aware of the next swap because lazy writing that'll just make things more complicated... Able to stop and start time because things were so eventful already... Ooh, it can swap non-matching things because I totally want Mom's butt for a face... And being able to move parts one-way, because I totally want Bryan's head right next to mine, screaming into my ear... and a tech support line? It seemed like the remote could swap literally anything - the possibilities were staggering. Don't give yourself too much credit, Switcheroo. This remote crap is probably the most overdone plot device on this website - the fact it has a tech support line is the most original thing about it, and the sheer amount of buttons and feature creep - yeah, emphasis on the "creep", creep - this thing has is way too hard for anybody to bother learning. If you're gonna give it buttons for every trait ever and have no explanation for anything about it, just give me a wishing stone or one of those magic powers from a voice in my head one morning - it'd still be unoriginal, sure, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with keeping track of all these buttons! I know I could probably try and get out of this house with it, but I've seen how stuff like that goes - I'm just gonna get stuck out of my own life and it's gonna derail into things just getting switched around and messed up if you have your way. I can have my own fun in here trying to break this thing!
Picking up the remote, Sara decided to look around for A hammer! Ha! You can try your best, but you're not getting any weirdness out of me!
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