Unsure of how much money you have on you, and more importantly how the pig would react if you didn't have enough to cover your order, you politely decline his offer. "Sorry, man, I'm broke right now. Appreciate it, though. Have a nice day." A bit deflated, the pig thanks you for your time and begins pushing his cart away, searching for other park denizens whom he could interest in a bite to eat.
You walk further along the park's inner trails. It's a strikingly gorgeous place and fairly sparse to boot. Maybe the bigger physiques of the locals keep them from venturing this far from a place to sit and rest? You think to yourself for a few moments as you walk, wondering exactly what is going on with your current situation.
Lost in thought, you end up veering off the path and into a sign on the grass right next to it.
"Auditions ahead at the gazebo," the sign itself reads, although auditions for what, you're not sure. A small posting below it says that said auditions were running from 10 to noon, and looking at the sun, which is exactly centered in the sky, it looks like it's about closing time for them. Still wondering what could possibly be going on, you walk ahead to see what's up.
When you get to the gazebo, a white enclosure that's about 10' by 10' with a few tables and such surrounding it, you see that the auditions themselves appear to have been less than successful. A few assorted sheets of paper are strewn about the grass, while a few staffers take down a few tables. Among them is one elephant in a suit.
While the other staffers are fairly normal, maybe about 50 pounds overweight at most, this elephant has extravagantly let himself go. He's wearing some dapper duds, one step below a suit, and they strain to hold his belly, which seems to be about three feet wide. The rest of him is suitably swollen as well - you'd bookmark him at about 600 pounds. Still wondering what the story was here, you figure that he'll have answers and walk over to him.
Initially, as you walked up to the gazebo, the elephant had a somewhat-concerned look upon his face, but everything seems to change when you walk into his field of view. His relatively dour demeanor completely changes, his eyes becoming more expressive and his mouth breaking out into a grin under his trunk.
"Hello sir! How are you today?!", he bellows, thrusting out a hand for you to shake. "Are you here for the auditions?"
"Well... I guess I am," you say. "I was walking along and wondering what was going on here..."
"Excellent! My first question for you, of course - do you want to be a reality TV star?"
Wow, that was straightforward. You've always wanted to be famous, of course. Who hasn't? But there's no sense in signing up for something you have no clue about in the first place, either.
"Well, of course I would, but I have no idea what I'd be getting myself into," you stammer out.
"Son, you're in the right place. We've been looking for candidates for a new reality competition, and we're one short." Glancing you over, he continues, "Your... let's say lithe physique is perfect for what we're trying to do."
"And what exactly is that?" Once again, you think, better safe than sorry.
"My television station, YummTV, is branching out into a new niche we've found is likely to provide us with a hit in Zaftig City. The new show is called 'The Biggest Gainer,' and it takes several undernourished people like yourself and gets them more well-rounded for city life here. Our winner not only takes home $250,000 on top of their makeover, but they'll also receive their own half-hour TV show on our network in whatever kind of genre they'd be interested in. It's an easy sell, right?"
"So this is a game show where thin people, like myself, get fat for money."
"In short, yes. We've found there's big demand among those who have taken to life in Zaftig to see others follow in their footsteps."
On the one hand, this sounds ridiculous, even before you consider that it could be too good to be true, or even a complete lie. $250,000 is crazy! It's also... it's a lot of money. And you've always wanted to be a bigger-than-life TV star. You'll never have to worry about another diet again... what's your decision?
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