"... the studio, Mike, its been a while since I was out. Besides I think my place is too small" you say. The agent replies "OK Rog I'll let'cha know. CIAO [more Hollywood talk, yuck] The next day Mike shows up at the apartment "They agree, but need it done this week. I said no problemo because you're slow anyway. They say today is doable if you want" You hesitate a moment, then "Let's go get me laid, I'll be ready in 10 minutes."
You come out in your best threads, specially made by Matel for its Ken doll line [OH well, it fits]
You arrive at the studio, the taping is about an hour away. Your agent introduces you to the host and producers. The guys seem cool, this looks like a good deal. You catch a glimpse of two sexy women going into a room near the stage [Are they contestants?] you wonder. Mike is looking through a peephole into the stage "Let me see" you ask. "OK up you go" he replies, as he scoops you into his palm. You press your face against the peephole, its been years since you saw this many people at one time.
"OK, showtime" a stagehand annouunces. "Roger, this is where you stand til the host announces you. Mike we have a spot for you in the booth" and you watch Mike leave, that's a little scary.
(Applause as the host is introduced)
"We have a special show this week" the host says "Back from a sabbatical, its Roger 'Dollman' Drake. Give'em a hand, or hold him in your hand!!" the audience laughs at the host's remarks and the doors open. You receive a round of applause which is quite friendly. There is a chair for you to sit in, its full sized, but there is a ladder for you to climb.
The opening interview consists of the usual quesions. You've heard them before, you can answer them in your sleep, but the show is paying good money. "OK, lets meet the lucky ladies" the host announces "First, she's a fitness instructor from Duluth, meet Elise. Number Two is a service rep from Tulsa, meet Robin. Last but not least, she's a perfomer, meet Michelle.
(Summary of the show)
[Elise gave all the sexy answers]
[Robin was the sweet one, Roger liked her answers best]
[Michelle sounded like she had a lot in common with Roger and the audience applauded every time she talked]
"OK, Roger, time to choose" the host annouces "But first, how did the audience vote?" (tikatikatikatikatikatika) "Elise gets 33%: Robin gets 30%: Michelle gets 37%. So you can go with the audience, who picked Michelle by a narrow margin, or one our other lovely ladies! Roger Drake, PICK YOUR DATE!!!"
(Drumroll)
Roger announces "I pick..."