"So what are you staring at now?" Stacey asks. Blimey, she's even got the same sounding voice as Emma Watson as she was 10 years ago.
"Nothing in particular. Can't I stare at my own girlfriend?"
"Not when my clothes are hanging loose off me like this, no. Why the Hell are they doing that? Everything fitted fine when I got dressed earlier, but now they're all behaving weirdly. I really don't even know why I bother with a bra - I used to have something there, but it seems to have disappeared after I last lost weight, so there's nothing there to support anymore. I really don't know what you see in me - I've got a body so small it could be a 10 year old's."
"Well I happen to think you're extremely pretty (which was true, as you always had the hots for Emma Watson when she played Hermione Granger in the films, even when she was only 10)."
"Oh shut up, you big lump."
She walks across to the mirror and surveys her reflection. "Well, suppose I am fairly pretty. You know, I reckon I have more than a passing resemblance to Hermione Granger... you know, from the Harry Potter films."
"Yeah, but from the early ones..." you reply, inadvertently showing a little disappointment.
"Well, I suppose I may grow to look more like she is now when I'm older - mind you that will probably never happen. I'm nearly 20 now and look like a 10 year old. I don't stand much of a chance of getting a figure like she's got now."
You can sense her disappointment too.
"Look I'm sure there's something you can do if you really want to have a figure more like she is now."
"Oh yeah? What do you suggest? You can't just wish yourself to have a better figure, otherwise everyone would it. Let me think... oh, yes, I wish I had the body of Hermione Granger from the final Harry Potter film!" Yeah, like heck that would work...
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