The setup may be a bit questionable, but you started this evening in an adventurous mood, and you did agree to be their "special guest" this evening when they let you in for free.
You accept the pretty clown's hand, and give a sudden start as it rattles and buzzes loudly on your palm. The clown makes an exaggerated "oops" expression, as if she hadn't realized the joy buzzer was there. The audience chortles behind you. When she offers her other hand, you make a big show of inspecting it before you accept her help up. Your playing into the joke earns you another canned chortle.
The attractive clown leads you into the ring, where the other clowns are preparing a number of different skits. To your right, three clowns are setting up a bakery set with lots of thick cream pies. Ahead, one clown appears to be juggling eggs, and to your left, another clown is approaching you with an extra large bucket, an extra large brush, and a small piece of colorful wallpaper (about the size of your standard notebook paper). The cute clown points you toward the bucket laden clown, waves goodbye to you, and sneaks a quick pat to your bottom as she goes to join her comic comrades at the bakery set.
The worker clown puts down the bucket, and extends the brush toward your right side, shaking it up and down. You don't know what to make of it at first, but then the clown realizes the mistake, hands the brush to you, and then shakes your hand in greeting, or rather shakes the brush which is now in your hand. The handy clown appears to have lost something and begins to search for it. You just stand there watching, brush in hand. Just before giving up the search, the clown spies the brush in your hand and snatches it back smartly, while giving you an accusatory glare. Having retrieved the brush, the clown hands you the scrap of wallpaper, and demonstrates that you should hold it up at chest level. Once you do so, the laborer clown dips the extra large brush into the extra large bucket, and pulls it back up dripping with dense, gooey white paste.
Having seen this sort of act before, you know what to expect from this clown, and you intend to avoid the sticky mess. At first, you obediently hold the paper in place as the blue collar clown puts the brush to it, but when the bristles begin an upward stroke, you lift the paper with the brush and defend your face from the brushes goo. You smile broadly at your own cleverness, until the unexpectedly quick downward stroke smears paste all over the front of your shirt. In an effort to spare the rest of your clothes the same fate, you jump backwards away from the brush, and feel yourself bump into someone else.
When the first egg splatters on your head, all you feel is surprise. When the second hits you, you realize that you've just disrupted the juggler in mid-juggle. As the third egg crack upon your cranium, and the yolks start finding their way down the back of your neck, you decide you must find some sort of shelter. Instinctively, you raise the wallpaper from in front of your face to above your head, where you safely catch the fourth and final egg, intact. You make no expression of clever triumph this time however; because the moment you exposed your face, a freshly laden brush covered it up again with heavy paste.
You blow yourself a mouth hole and breathe deeply while you wipe an eye clean with one hand. The worker clown takes the wallpaper from you, and you feel a twinge of gratitude, as you now have two hands to clear your vision. Unfortunately, no sooner have you regained your eyesight, than the clown takes it away again by smacking the wallpaper securely over your pasty face. At this point you can hear the slowly rising laughter of the audience and you know that the wicked worker clown who you can no longer see will just keep playing dirty tricks on you if you don't get away right now.
You stagger blindly away, feeling the air with one hand, while peeling away the stuck paper with the other. You've stumbled a few yards when the paper comes loose and your perception is restored. What you see gives you pause. Four clowns with two pies each stand poised before you like a confectionery firing squad beside a bakery counter. The first volley knocks you back a bit as two pies strike your forhead and the other two your right arm and left thigh. The audience laughs louder. with the next volley, all four pies take you forcefully in the chest and leave you stumbling backward until your heel strikes something and you trip. You sit down with a heavy squelch, and realize immediately that you've just fallen into the extra large bucket of paste.
The audience is now laughing uproariously, and you are fairly certain you can make out the distinct laughs of the clowns standing around you as well. You struggle to get to feet, and then unstick the bucket from your backside amid the cacophony of hoots and cackles.
What do you do now?
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