So glad to see that your back in business, Arthur. Personally though, I liked how popular and out-of-control the other board was getting; hope our many friends can find their way to this board.
You don't know how upset I was to find that the other board was gone---because I pulled off the following stunt 2 weeks ago and couldn't relate it until now!!!
I live in a small 8-unit apartment building with a tiny parking lot in back. In order to enter the building from the lot, you use the basement entrance, located on the one side of the building near the rear of the building. Since you will be entering through the "basement", you first need to descend several steps, walk for about 9 feet along a narrow space between the side of the building and an opposing concrete wall, and then you've reached the entrance to the basement/building right there on your left side.
Now, the ~9-foot long "outdoor" corridor is truly awesome. The width of the corridor is so narrow that people can only walk in single file. Best of all, I kid you not, the ground of this corridor is so muddy and slimy that the caretaker had installed a narrow and long wooden "boardwalk", occupying much of the area of the corridor right up to and 1 foot passed the door. I've always wanted to try lying under this little boardwalk, and finally dared to do it one mild Saturday night when I knew that the overly-observant caretaker (who lives in the building) was out of town for the weekend.
Two teenage sisters and their mother live right above me. I knew that the sisters usually went out Saturday nights. So, I had planned to wait for them to return late that night and be the floor that they would walk on!!!
I heard them leave around 9:30pm. At around 9:50pm, I made my move. The boardwalk rested on two wooden crossbeams, each located lengthwise about a foot in from their respective end. The boardwalk was heavy but I managed to slip under it. I had to work fast, so as not to be discovered. To my joy, I realized for the first time that the ground underneath was quite muddy; so much so that I was able to dig in somewhat deep so that it wouldn’t be obvious that someone was under there; it helped that it had rained earlier in the day. I positioned one crossbeam to lie just above my ankle and the other just below my neck. I was lucky that no one came while I was setting up. In fact, no one came for what seemed like 45min. I just lay there. The 4 wooden strips that made up the board where nailed in just far apart enough to allow me to see who would be coming. Since my head was by the door, I would only be able to see who came OUT of the building until after they’d stepped on me. I was nervous that I’d be seen, but I was fairly sure that the boardwalk covered me completely and that it wasn’t sticking up in the air too much because of my body---since I felt a little sunken into the mud. There was a dim light by the door, but I don’t think I’d be seen through the cracks between the wood panels of the boardwalk.
In a way, just lying there was cool. I just imagined that I was the floor. What does the floor do? It just lies there. Suddenly, I heard a car come slowly crackling into the rocky parking lot. My heart started pounding. I was already aroused. I wondered who it would be. They were taking along time. It turns out it was a young couple coming back from shopping (who shops at 11pm at night??!!). The woman was the first to come. She’s tallish, in early thirties, with 1 or 2 extra pounds on her but she looks decent. She walked onto the boardwalk, and I felt tremendous pressure on my shins. Then she got to the door and stood right over me, fumbling for her keys. She was squashing my chest. I felt myself slowly sinking further into the mud. That made me very aroused. I tried to see her face but, as a bug on the floor would know it’s a tough angle. She then placed a shopping bag directly over my "porthole" and I could see anything. When she had opened the door and gone inside, I felt myself rise a little bit but not much. Suddenly the stupid husband came. He’s not a small man. He stomped right over me, I felt myself sink further. Then she came again. They must have made 3 rounds a piece, each time further matting me down into the mud. It was an awesome experience. After they had finished, I just lay there like a well-behaved floor. About a half an hour later, a heavy-set spinster in her early-40s came home and trampled me. I heard the wood splinter by my chins when she walked along the boardwalk. I was afraid the whole thing would collapse. She stood by the door trying to inject the key in the keyhole. I was having trouble breathing. Just as I was thinking about that, I felt cold liquid being poured all over me. This bitch was emptying out a beer can all over my face. I first I thought she was doing it on purpose, but I doubt it. I think she was just drunk. She then tossed the beer can somewhere nearby.
Then, I waited SEVERAL HOURS more----but the teenage sisters never came back!!! Maybe they were sleeping over friends house or staying out later. During that time it rained a bit (being the floor is not so glamorous after all). Finally, at around 3pm I attempted to get out—only to find it very hard. I felt like a squashed roach trying to crawl once again. I managed to get out. I was all muddy, dirty, cold and my shins/chest hurt. I showered, took care of myself, and went to sleep. What a night!!! Not sure if I’d do it again though. Very risky if I got caught. Maybe if the followers of Mr. Rugman egged me to try something like this   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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