It's a bizarre scene and it takes a moment for your brain to interpret what your eyes are seeing. At first glance, it looks like your dad is trying to wrestle a large, pink python into the round, plastic vagina of a love doll. Slowly, reluctantly, it clicks... The writhing tube of flesh in his hands is no snake...
"AAAAHHHHHHH!"
"AAAAHHHHHHH!" your dad responds, dropping his massive, throbbing penis, which hits the stone floor with a meaty thud. "AAAAAAAHHH!" he continues to howl, tears of pain springing to his eyes. "Robbie! What are you doing down here?! What have I told you!"
"What am I doing down here? What are you doing? What the hell is that?!" you scream back.
Doctor Michael Anderson grabs his monster member and lifting up his shirt, he begins to wind the beast around his waist like a belt. It loops around twice before he is able to tuck it into his trousers. It must be nearly five-foot long. "Don't tell her this, but I've been working on a present for your mother's anniversary, a *ahem* penis-enlargement cream. The only problem is that it's too affective, as you unfortunately saw. The only way to reduce the growth is constant sex. I'm afraid I've been forced to invent these... inflatable intimacy surrogates to keep it under control," he says, gesturing to the sex doll in his hands and a jar labelled 'Inflatable Intimacy Surrogates - Just Add Water', which contains a collection of rubber balls.
"Um, I think sex dolls have already been invented."
"Have they? Oh drat, I thought I was onto a winner with those. Ah, well, I bet they can't do this!" he exclaims, grabbing one of the rubber balls from the jar and a watering can from the desk. He drops the purple ball on the floor and douses it, and after a moment of nothing it unfurls and inflates in an instant into a full-blown love doll. "Unfortunately I'm really tearing through these things. Most don't last more than five minutes against the... well I've taken to calling it the Destroyer, naturally. Only got a few of these left, and only two days left until your mother's anniversary," he mutters absent mindedly.
"Uh, dad, your anniversary is today."
"Is it?! he shrieks, looking frantically to his watch. "By jove, you're right! Your mother is going to murder me!" He races for the stairs, dashing up them three at a time, and slams the basement door behind him.
On the desk near you are two jars. One is half full of white cream and labelled 'Penis Enlargement Cream'. The other is the jar of sex dolls.
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