The scene faded from black to a view of a port overlooking the sea. “Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka. I’m your host, Chris McLean,” introduced the show’s host, a man in his thirties sporting a blue-gray shirt, stubble, and slick hair. “Dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television, here, today. Here’s the deal,” he continued as the camera tracked him walking down the dock. “Twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here, at this crummy old summer camp. They’ll have to compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their members walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers,” he laughed, “and leave Total Drama Island for good.” Chris continued his narration, introducing various aspects of the show, such as the site of the Campfire Elimination Ceremony, the grand prize, some of the natural hazards, and the countless cameras.
“Alright, it’s time to meet our campers,” Chris continued after the intro theme, while also setting up that the campers were lied to about where they’d be staying. “Oh, and there’s one other twist, but I’d rather wait until everyone’s arrived. It’s more fun that way… for me.” He evilly laughed. “And here come the boats.” As predicted, everyone looked disappointed at the less-than-five-star condition of the camp. Some threatened violence, but Chris reminded them that they signed contracts, and that his lawyers made copies. Clearly, the man enjoyed every minute of their suffering. And as more campers arrived, already their varied personalities began bouncing off one another in ways the host anticipated would be great entertainment. Once everyone arrived, there was a terrific tone-setter when the campers posed for a photo, only for the dock to collapse under their weight.
Once they dried, and Chris stopped laughing, he took them to the Campfire, where the contestants either sat on stumps or stood. “This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends.” Chris continued the standard introduction speech while trying not to snicker at sparks of tension already flaring.
“These cabins aren’t co-ed, are they?” Heather, the resident popular bitch, said in disgust while looking at Duncan, the green-haired punk from juvi. “The criminal keeps giving me those creepy eyes.”
“Just wait until night falls, gorgeous,” Duncan replied while making kissy faces.
Heather held up a fist. “Bring it, convict. You take one step toward me, and it’ll be a one-way trip up my ass!”
“Funny, I was thinking the same thing,” Duncan calmly replied.
Heather blinked. “Wait, you’re a pred, too?”
“Obviously, sweet cheeks.” Duncan lifted his shirt to show off his pecs. “You can’t get a body like this from regular workouts. Only the finest of delinquents went into sculpting this beauty.” His words set everyone looking around in confusion.
“Excuse me, McLean,” the brainy Noah spoke up. “I was under the impression that I would be the only pred here.” Everyone voiced that they’d been told the same.
“Wait, yo skinny ass is a pred?” asked Leshawna, the thicc black girl from the projects. “You jus’ eat toddlers, or are you some kinda pred vegan?”
“Wh-why?” Cody asked. As one of the small and skinny people, he was understandably nervous, knowing that his larger co-contestants might swallow him at any moment.
Chris began laughing. “The short answer: I lied. In fact, this show is an all-pred cast,” he explained to the annoyance of those who hoped to have a natural advantage over the competition. “Preds tend to dominate these kinds of things, so I had a great idea. What if everyone involved was a pred to even things out? Pretty great, huh?” he laughed again. “For those of you who are a little slower than others, I’ll spell it out. Everyone here is a predator. You can all eat whoever you want, whenever you want, and in a variety of creative ways. However, there are some rules. No vore during competitions unless specifically told otherwise. Also, and this really shouldn’t need to be said, but I’m gonna anyway because you’re all a bunch of hungry horny teenagers; no digesting the other contestants,” he said to a round of disappointed groans.
“Aw, man!” Owen whined as he gripped his vast stomach. “I’m gonna waste away if I can’t eat anyone.”
“Dude, the big guy could probably last the whole competition, but what about the rest of us?” asked Tyler, the jock, while motioning at Owen.
“Not to worry,” Chris assured. “We’ve got plenty of nutrition bars to meet your dietary needs,” he said to the contestants’ disgust. Chuckling evilly, Chris continued. “However, as some added incentive, we’re gonna split ya into two teams. Each winning team not only wins immunity from elimination, but will receive a delivery of volunteers for your predatory urges,” he said while suggestively bouncing his eyebrows.
“You said something earlier about there being cameras everywhere,” inquired Justin, the pretty boy. “Does that include—?”
“When you’re eating people?” Chris finished. “Yes. Also in the cabins, mess hall, the showers, and pretty much everywhere. It’s all in the contract you signed.” At everyone’s shocked silence, Chris added, “It’s a reality show with an all-pred cast. Did you think things wouldn’t get pornographic? And, just to reiterate, while there’s no digesting your fellow campers, we highly encourage you to act as you like between challenges. Go nuts and let your hormones run wild. It’ll be more fun for the viewers at home that way,” Chris snickered.
“So, let me get this straight,” began Courtney, the honor student. “You’re not only limiting our access to prey, which I’m pretty sure is a violation of our human rights, but you’re also going to film us succumbing to our baser instincts and broadcast it for the world to see?”
“Sounds about right,” Chris confirmed.
“Yes!” Harold, the skinny weird guy, pumped his fist in victory. “I can’t wait to show off my mad skills.”
“Mad skills, huh?” Leshawna dismissed. “That, Ah’d like ta see.”
“Note to self. Don’t be so blinded by money that you forget to read the fine print,” grumbled Gwen the goth.
“Alright, that’s enough chatter from the peanut gallery,” Chris said as he pulled out a list to assign teams into the Screaming Gophers and the Killer Bass. “Not only will you always be on camera, but you’ll also be able to share your inner-most thoughts with video diaries anytime you want,” he said while gesturing at the outhouse. “Here, how about you give it a test run.”
Gwen went first. “Well, this sucks.”
Then came Lindsey, the beautiful blonde with the only set of boobs that came close to matching Leshawna or Owen. She was staring down the toilet with her ass pointing at the camera and giving a clear view of her pink panties. “So, like, where’s the camera guy?”
Owen’s farting was the only other interesting thing the editors included in this first round, so everyone continued with the program.
Chris introduced everyone to their cabins. They were rundown, with floors almost as worn as the bunk beds. “Girls get one side of the cabin, and boys get another. Although, he-he, we’ll see how long that lasts. And, since you’re all sixteen, as old as a counselor in training at a summer camp, you don’t need chaperones. Mwahaha.”
“Alright, we get it. You want to watch us fucking,” Heather said in exacerbation. “Perverts.”
“Uh, we’re predators,” Gwen reminded. “We’re all perverts.”
“Shut up, weird goth girl,” Heather shot back.
Then, after an amusing distraction with a cockroach, singling out the squeamish before Duncan finished it with an ax, Chris continued. “Well, that was fun. You’ve got half an hour to unpack and meet me at the main lodge.”
At the lodge, everyone was introduced to Chef, a brawny man who looked like he’d been cast for looking like a criminal and acting like a drill sergeant. “Listen up. I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day.” His instruction was an order that brokered no argument. His ‘food’ was differing colors of unidentifiable slop and one nutrition bar each. Some predators were less comfortable with eating live people than others, so they supplemented their diet with specialized bars that supposedly provided all the nutritional value of a human. Alas, the only thing worse than their tasteless blandness was how they were the tastiest things on the menu. Also, the so-called meat seemed to move.
Chris informed them their first challenge would be in one hour. What could it be?
1 Dive off a cliff into the lake
2 Volleyball in revealing clothes
3 A three-legged race
4 King of the mountain
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