Darius and Brock decided to steal a car. They had a crowbar to break the window but they didn’t want the alarm to alert everyone around so they went to a bar and searched for the most expensive car there. When they broke the glass and the alarm went off, everyone was too drunk to notice it and the ones who were still sober were inside with the loud music so nobody saw them until it was too late. They got in the car but they realized they couldn’t start it without the key because this wasn’t the 80s and cars couldn’t just be started by sticking wires together like in the movies anymore. So they waited outside until the owner of the car came out and they jumped him, whacked him with the crowbar and took his keys in his wallet. How did they know he was the owner if he wasn’t going towards his car since he was too drunk you say? Don’t question it, Darius is just gangster enough to know.
So they took his car and sped off as the owner called the police to get it back. But Brock was expecting the cops and had a secret weapon ready for them. As soon as the officer pulled them over, he threw out a large doubles glazed donut behind him. The officer couldn’t resist so he jumped on the donut letting the two criminals escape.
So the desperate ex owner of the car turned to the last option he had. He flashed the gator signal in the sky. Florida man saw the signal just as he was coming down his meth trip and knew there was a civilian in need of his help. So he stuffed his 3 guns and 2 gators in his pickup truck and turned on the news to hear what the trouble was. He heard about two masks shootings that recently occurred in different states but that was just part of American culture at this point. He can’t do miracles okay. But then he heard about a grand theft auto and knew what he had to do. He went to where the car was last seen and searched for it. He easily found it since the guys who stole it were doing drifts at high speed with their music turned up and their windows down like absolute douchbags.
So he gave chase but the suspects drove away and it turned into a chase. Eventually Darius pulled his gun out to shoot behind at Florida man’s vehicle. It broke his windshield but he ducked his head in time to dodge the bullets. While Darius was reloading his gun, Flor chucked a gator through his window making the car thief’s panic. They had to stop the car and get out. Florida man went to arrest them but Darius pulled out his gun and pointed it at him. Florida pulled out his own and pointed it back. Florida man fired but no bullets came out because he forget to actually load it with bullets. Darius shot back but he stood in a gansta pose that made it very hard to aim so he missed all his shots. Florida man then hit him in the head with his rifle and knocked him out. Brock then stood in front of him and said: “Let’s settle this like real men. Him and Florida man stare at each other in the eyes without blinking in a staring contest. They both keep staring for multiple minutes until Brock’s eyes were stinging from Florida man’s bad breath and he was forced to close them. Knowing he lost the duel of honor, he gave back the car and Florida man saved the day.
P.S. Brock and Darius are white so if you imagined them as black, you might be racist.
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