I grab a mason jar and drop him in. I now call him "Loser". I put the backseat passenger in a different mason jar to keep them separated. This guy, I nicknamed "Little Punk". I don't even have to put lids on the jars because they could never reach the top to escape. The driver - "Shithead" - is still pinned in his seat, so I just put the car off to the side.
I get out my Skoal chewing tobacco and put a big hunk in my lip. Turning on my little tv, I throw in a video of one of my latest conquests. I had one of the town folks videotape my escapades. It is always fun watching myself tearing apart a town. The point of view from the victims is amazing. The three men stare in horror at the destruction I caused.
I grab "Loser's" jar and spit my thick tobacco juice in. I have been chewing forever and easily get him directly on his head. I chuckle as it drips down, covering him. We all watch over an hour of me crushing cars, eating people, and stomping buildings. The entire time, I spit directly on Loser. The bottom of the jar is quickly filling up with my chew spit. It is murky and smells horrible. The gooey liquid is up to his knees.
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