This choice: Human. And you are female. • Go Back...Chapter #2Human. And you are female. by: Unknown *BEEP BEEP*
"Well, lemme in, you rotten bastard!" you shout, trying to angle your Jetta out of a vanishing lane.
*HONK HONK*
"Yeah, fuck you very much, too!" you say, smiling and flipping off the asshole in the raised F-350 as you scoot back into traffic.
It's not bad enough that work's out in the boonies relative to your place, but you have to endure a miserable commute every morning no matter how early you leave. You're starting to think your "Mean People Really Get Right Up In There And Tongue My Rim" bumper sticker is counterproductive.
Your name's Trish, you're 24, and you're a technical writer for the world's largest corporate lab: Cattech. No one you've ever talked to knows why it's called Cattech, but you finally figured out that you don't care as long as it pays the rent.
You take a deep breath and let go of your road rage, since work will be annoying enough. Six months' documentation for a doomed content management system just went into the trash yesterday, and you're expecting a bloodbath as your team gets culled for the next project. They'll probably keep you, but you're not up for another death march like that one.
*
"Trish!" someone shouts, but you can't tell who it is. There are suits standing around, talking and yelling at everyone, including themselves, as maintenance guys rearrange partitions and cubicle refugees grab their indispensables, scuttling off the farm and into their new sections. This is exactly what you were hoping to avoid.
Someone calls your name again, and now you can tell it's Shigi. You were paired with her last year because no one else could stand her upbeat attitude, but you got used to her. Shigi's already got a cart loaded with your stuff and hers, and she's making a break for the elevator and gesturing behind you.
"LONEsome Cowgirl!" you hear, before getting your ass swatted. It's McCutchen, who's somebody's nephew, and there's no escape from him. They call him the Teflon Groper, because he grabs what he wants and dodges every charge of sexual harassment. "Need you and Springfield down on the front line. 365. Just watch and get a feel for the process, and give me a treatment by tomorrow morning."
"Isn't that the magic and wormholes thing?" you ask him. "Are we out of the EDI workgroup for good?"
The Cutch, uncharacteristically, waves you off and melts back into the chaos. You shrug and head for the elevators.
*
"Wow, it's a big step up for us!" says Shigi, after you've found your new cubicle and told her where McCutchen has you both assigned. "That's pure R&D! Where did you let him grab you to get us in here?"
You're both outside of lab #365. As you open the door, there's a loud bang and a bright flash of yellow light, and you're knocked out.
*
You wake up with Shigi and a wizard in your lap. The wizard staggers upright and starts checking some notes.
"What... what just happened?" you ask him, helping Shigi up and looking around. A bunch of scientists are scattered around the lab, scrambling to make sense of the event.
"I messed up the spell," says the wizard, more to himself than you. "I accidentally created a new force. A wish-granting force. I might as well call it Lionscript, since I invented it."
"WTF?" Shigi asks, too polite to cuss in anything but initials.
"You utter a command beginning with 'Lionscript,'" says the wizard, distracted. "Something along the lines of, 'Lionscript, fetch me a latte,' or, 'Lionscript, make this polite young lady's hair bright yellow.' To that effect."
You see that Shigi's hair is now bright yellow and the wizard has a large cup of coffee in his hand... which he passes off to Shigi in consolation, though she has no idea about her hair yet.
You gape for a moment before thinking for a second only to open your mouth and say:   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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