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Printed from https://writing.com/main/interactive-story/item_id/1538446-Jokes/cid/1708717-Prison
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by frosty Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Interactive · Other · #1538446
Not a story just a bunch of jokes
This choice: Prison  •  Go Back...
Chapter #3

Prison

    by: frosty Author IconMail Icon
Hypothetical situation, a guy who is higher than the Hubble telescope on crystal meth and paint thinner breaks into your house, steals everything you own, rapes and murders your children wife and dog, beats the shit out of you and ties you to a phone pole and makes you watch him burn your house to the ground. A few days later he gets arrested and charged with breaking and entering, burglary, premeditated homicide, and bestiality. He gets 7 consecutive life sentences without a chance for parole. He is going to spend the rest of his and his grandchildren’s life in prison. The media is going to call it “justice”. Justice was served. He got what he deserved. And that’s that, everyone goes on about their lives as you try to rebuild yours. Now let’s look at it from the perspective no one ever thinks about. This man has literally taken your entire life away from you and you will never fully recover. And now you, as a free taxpaying citizen of the united states, get to spend the rest of your life, paying for his permanent residency in the form of an 8x8 cell with a bucket to shit in and a slab of crab infested wool to sleep on. You get to pay for him to have 3 meals a day. You get to pay for his gym membership, his laundering services, his rehabilitation, his education on how to find a gang in prison to survive with, his babysitting fees in the form of the prison guards salaries, and last but not least you get to pay every single penny of his healthcare expenses. Something you never thought about isn’t it? All prisoners on this planet have all expense paid healthcare. Because you ,as free taxpaying citizen of the united states, get to front the bill. You get to pay for all the stitches from shiv wounds, and to get his asshole resized and his therapy sessions because a black guy named “big bubba” got a little frisky in the shower. In the meantime the blow to your mental health which prevents you from ever being able to hold a job at a pay grade above shoveling cow shit, means that you have no means to get yourself a permanent residence, or a bucket to shit in, or a crab infested slab of wool to sleep on, or 3 meals a day, or a gym membership, or laundering services, or rehabilitation, or education, or any form of healthcare. Because justice was served. But let’s look at it from another perspective. A crime that heinous should certainly be worthy of the death penalty. However most of the states in America don’t like the capital punishment. So if this happens anywhere in the country other than Texas, this is what happens. 3-10 years of court battles and appeals and overrulings and controversies and delays and overpaid lawyers battling your fresh out of a third rate law school in a third world country public defender asshole. But through it all he finally gets sentenced to death. And then he will sit on death row for 5+ years, while you pay for his entire life after you’ve paid for the millions of dollars worth of court battles. But through it all, finally the day comes where you get to pay for his execution. A lethal injection which contains a secret cocktail of deadly chemicals that probably cost you thousands of dollars each. But through it all, you get to watch this brutal heartless man who stole your life get put down. After they give him an alcohol swab that you also paid for. I mean common, We’re killing the bastard, the least we could do is make sure he doesn’t get an infection. So you tell me does that sound like the kind of justice we should have to live with? Regular people in this country have to fight and claw their way around the workplace to ensure they have enough money to put food on the table, and just because they happen to be free taxpaying citizens of the united states, a percentage of that goes to make sure rapists, murderers, drug dealers, maniacs, cannibals, and thieves have a quality meal, plenty of time in the sunshine to lift weights and sodomize one another and free healthcare. Meanwhile you have to pay 600 dollars to take your child to the hospital because he wrecked his bike in the street on the pothole that the state just doesn’t have the spare money to fix.

You have the following choice:

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