You give the primitives a moment to connect the smoking hole in the ground with the weapon in your hand. Then, just in case their underdeveloped brains still haven't caught on, you fire it at a nearby pillar of sandstone slicing it in half without so much as a spark. They watch in awe as it tumbles down; then in unison they follow it to the ground, falling prostrate before you. 'Oh this is perfect, the first alien civilzation that chooses to worship me and its all male.' You grab the eldest hoisting him up by his hood before he can complete his third round of genuflection. "Alright," you say trying to sound Godlike, "thou must bring your leader before me so I might.. er... hand him a uh set of laws for you to live by, right..." ('Hopefully that's still original on this side of the galaxy.')
Far from finding your request cliche', the young man looks totally confused. "But you command the power of the sun, you must take us home, to the great ocean in the sky."
"Kid, unless one of your other Gods is a statue made out of positrons none of us are going anywhere." The young man just stares at you and realizing his ignorance you can only sigh. 'Antimatter humor probably won't get laughs on this planet for millenia, if ever.' "Listen, why don't we compromise. You take me to your head man.. boy and I'll... see what I can do about bringing you all to the big water or whatever."
"I summon Taelokvar and you bring we to star-sea..?"
"Umm," you can almost feel your computer glaring at you as you let rip another lie, "sure I will. All of us, we'll all travel together to the star-sea." Your announcement generated a stir of excitement in all the young priests, though not a one can bring themself to budge including the eldest, "um.. Taelokvar," you remind him without knowng what the word means. Your use of it manages to snap him out of a euphoric trance and he bolts off blending in amongst the other robes.
Dragging stares from crowd with you, you return to your ship. "Commander," your computer speaks to you in the refreshing but soulless tones of your native language, "although I do not have the coordinates of this star-sea in my charts, our current antimatter reserves are not sufficient to break the gravitational pull of this..."
"Why don't I leave data storage to you, and you leave thinking to me, eh sweet-cheeks. Speaking of, why don't you put those microchips of yours to work and figure out what the word Taelokvar means, translator doesn't wanna digest it." You leave her to her processing, grander schemes occupying your thoughts. "Daddy has a world to conquer." About that time you hear the loud bellow of a horn pound the dry air pushing every face, yours included in the direction of its blast. The same monk from before crouched at the pointed tip of a horn so huge it might have been hewn from Babe the Blue Ox. After a deep breath he strains to give it another blow -- face turning red in the process. 'This is how they summon their leader? Man this is going to be too easy.'
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