"Why would he let me into his hiding place?" you ask. "Why would this von Gerssdorff person let me into the Libra, and then let me out? He did something to me." Blood rushes to your head, and you feel faint. "He's the one who--"
"Hush, Will," Charles says, and again clasps your hand. "Yes, we now know what's happened. It's not the Libra, it's the man inside the Libra who did it to you. Though perhaps it's a distinction without a difference. You met him in mind and spirit, but you carry his body around when you carry the Libra." Your flesh ripples with disgust; you never again want to touch the thing. "But you're alright, Will--"
"Alright? Nash says--!"
"I know what Nash says," Charles says soothingly. "To look at you, no one would know what's happened to you, and you yourself don't feel any different. You've said so yourself. Remember that, and don't fear for yourself." You swallow, but nod. "I do not know what purposes von Gerssdorff has. No one could fathom his mind, for he was always subtle, and at the end he was so twisted no one could see him for the coils he had twisted himself into. Yes, he did something to you, and even stole one of your ousiarchs, but he let you go. I suspect--" He smiles wryly. "I suspect he let you go because you are not even yet a student or novice. He knows you inside and out." Charles's smile turns grim. "You gave him your name, and he has taken you apart. I doubt he found anything useful, and warlocks such as von Gerssdorff are more practical than they are malicious. That is why I said that only you, probably, could have escaped the Libra, for I doubt you have anything he could want."
"Except maybe my ousiarch. Kenandandra."
"Yes," says Charles slowly. "That is a point."
He looks as though he has fallen into meditating again, but you ask him anyway: "Why would he want it, sir?"
"Hmm? Oh, I don't know," Charles says, retrieving his attention from very far away. "As I say, it is very difficult to penetrate his thinking. None of my predecessors could, and centuries have passed since then. But he was always interested in such things. In essentia, and the metaphysical constituents of the universe. He was a kind of vivisectionist, you might say. He liked to take people apart." His voice falls into a hush. "And then send them back out again, with empty places where once they had ... vital things."
You shiver.
"Yes," Charles says. "It's better to talk of such things in the bright morning than in the dark night, but it rather spoils the light and air. So let's talk about--"
"Who were his ousiarchs, sir?" you blurt out. You dread the answer, wanting no kinship with this monster.
"Catilindria and Kenandandra," Charles says after a fractional hesitation. "The ousiarchs of revolution, and practical application and organization. A very powerful combination. Our last member to have them-- Well, he killed himself, rather than let his gifts be perverted. He also had political ideals, and great physical courage."
"Perverted by who?"
"Never mind. The twentieth century was full of perversity, not all of which it was our business to combat. You'll learn much of it during your studies."
"If von Gerssdorff had Kenandandra for an ousiarch--" You resent the shared relation, but are glad that you don't share Sulva with him, as it's the planet you can still claim for your own. "Why would he take Kenandandra from me?"
"It's a mystery to me, Will," Charles sighs, and something in his manner tells you that you'd better desist before you begin to try his patience. "He liked cutting things up. Perhaps even in his phylactery he grows bored."
Centuries, locked away inside that nothingness. If he is bored, maybe you should be glad he contented himself with only the few amputations you suffered at his hands. You let Charles change the subject.
"I'd much rather talk about you, Will," he says. "I like you a lot more than von--"
"Yes sir. Thank you, sir. What are you going to do with me? And about Joe and Frank?"
"Joe and Frank are our business," he says. "Leave them to us. I hope they never will be your business, for I hope they will be back with us before long. So put them out of your mind, at least for now. As for you and your training--" His manner warms considerably. "I said I would always try to be candid with you, so I will. There are several paths we might take. Actually, you would have to take all of them, but the order and the emphasis can be different. It depends upon what suits you."
"I don't know what would suit me, sir."
"Of course not. That's for me to decide. But what you prefer, and what I decide, will likely coincide." His smile is shrewd.
You're not sure what he means by that, so you just ask about these different "paths."
"There are three," he says. "Book learning, practical learning, and, for lack of a better word, character building." You must have grimaced at the latter, for he laughs softly. "Your own father must have talked to you about 'character building' at some point, I guess."
"Yes sir. Oh, speaking of which--!" In all the bustle and excitement of the last few days you've not even thought of your family. "What are we going to do about--?"
"Your family? We'll do something. At the moment, Rick says, no one has missed you. Joe and Frank left your own doppelganger in place."
"But it's under their control!"
"Probably. Not for long, since we have you and the Libra. Would you object to leaving a fake version of yourself in Saratoga Falls?"
"It would be a little weird." You scratch your head. "Of course, it's been a long time since, you know, I've actually been home."
"Well, we can decide that later. But as for your training. What do you remember of Stellae training from your time inside Joe's mask?
You blink. "Not a lot. It fades when you leave a mask behind. Mostly I remember anything similar to stuff I already know."
"Then I'll explain it to you. By 'book learning' I mean something very similar to school work. You would start with Kali Valentine, who is very good at designing courses of study. You would live with her, and would study the theory of sigils, the history of the Stellae, and about the planets and the various metaphysical bases of what you and all of us can do. You would learn how to meditate, and would become much more closely acquainted with Sulva. You would study yourself as well, and learn how the theory is practically realized within yourself. You would study and develop the powers you are left with, and those that you have picked up as a result of your encounter with, uh, the Libra."
"That sounds like the 'practical training' you were talking about."
"No, the 'practical training' is more like 'on the job' training. You would not be undertaking full-scale missions, but some of us would take you into the field, to see what you can do and what you are adept at. You would travel about, living with various members of the order and helping them with their tasks. Instead of learning about yourself intellectually, as you would with Kali, you would learn through experience about yourself. I won't mince words, Will. We would be throwing you into the pool, and seeing what kind of strokes you make."
That sounds more appealing than school work; now that you think of it, you realize what a relief it is to be out of a classroom. It would also probably be better than-- "And what is 'character building'?"
"The subtlest of them all. You would hardly notice it."
"Okay. What would I be doing?"
"Chores around the house for me." Charles turns quite pink in the face as he laughs. "Yes, you would come and live with me."
"As what, a house boy?" You never liked chores.
"More or less. When you got tired of me, I'd send you to Russia for a similar stint with an old friend of mine. Then to England, to help care for an old invalid. Father Ed would probably also get a lot of work out of you. So would the rest of the Stellae, by helping them take care of their more mundane concerns while they are doing Stellae business."
"But I wouldn't be helping them on the Stellae business."
"Not at first. I told you, Will," he says, and leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. "These courses are not mutually exclusive. You would be doing all of them, eventually. It's a matter of where you would start, and where the initial emphasis would be. We would start you where you would be most comfortable, and gradually work around to and through the others."
You lean back, but you can't really think clearly, not with Charles watching you. School work? Adventure? Chores?
As you turn over the possibilities in your head, you begin to see what Charles is getting at with each of them, and how they might suit you. In a sense, the school work would be the most familiar, since it would pick up somewhat where you left things at Westside, with getting an education.
Adventuring around sounds a lot more exciting: Getting your hands dirty, and learning directly what you can do and how to do it. But you've had a lot of excitement recently. And being in the field-- Well, it might remind you too often of what else is out there in the field: the perverted Joe and Frank.
And that brings you back to the "character building." Father Ed asked if you really felt sorry, and what you were going to do about it. It occurs to you that what Charles means by "character building" could easily double as "penance", by helping the Stellae whose lives you've disrupted by corrupting two of their colleagues.
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