This choice: Put yourself in for Hannah • Go Back...Chapter #34Putting a Piece Back Into Place by: rugal b.  You let the thought roll around over and over in your head as you pace around, both out of impatience and worry: the portables are the hang out of stoners, those skipping class and others of mostly low reputation and someone like Evie undoubtedly looks massively out of place in this area. You don't see anyone around and you're thankful for that, partly because Evie's own fears prey on you and you worry about what might happen if someone spots you.
More than that, you don't want anyone spotting yourself and Dane because if they do that can get back to Chen and that leaves you right back where you've started except now you've dragged Evie into this mess as well, far more than you already have as it'll be the girl proper caught up in everything; something that won't be fixed by just giving her back her life.
For that's what you've decided to do. The more you thought, the more you realized that you couldn't just tell Evie you were going to take over her life and then offer Hannah''s as a consolation. Would she want that? Well the benefits are obvious but you feel a strong desire in her as well; one of self-improvement and a desire to be noticed. Sure she could get with the boy who causes her heart to jump from her chest but he wouldn't be getting with her would he? It'd be deceptive, he'd be getting with Evie because he thinks that she's his real girlfriend. There's a stab in your chest at that and something about it feels all too familiar.
That's how you've felt too, right? About Lisa? Sure there's the initial thrill of getting together with her as Mansfield but then what? You have to keep up the charade. She's loving you because you're Geoff Mansfield, not because you're Will Prescott. It's a similarity you and this girl share, one of many you realize.
Oh sure, you're exactly alike but there are bits there that stop and give you pause. The desire to be noticed and gain acceptance, especially by the one you're head over heels for, is one. The desire to be something more, to cast off the chains of the dorkiness that have held you own, is another. There's the interest in things like video games, something she hasn't quite grown out of and can't quite bring herself to do away with. There's the close friendship she shares with a few people, some of whom--Lindsay is the first thought--she doesn't always seek eye to eye with but who she does trust but the awkwardness she feels in most other settings and even around her own friends.
It's not just your brother she reminds you of: it's yourself. Or some sort of combination thereof. You can't really abandon her or throw her to the wolves. You can't just steal her life. There's a feeling you get when you think about it. It's the same feeling you'd get if Caleb or Gordon or somebody tried to steal your life or Robert's. Maybe it's from being able to peer so deeply into her thoughts and her heart that you feel such a strong bond to a girl that you didn't even know existed twenty-four hours ago. There's a quality there that makes you think of her like a little sister and you'd know that if she were your sister you would feel very protective.
So it's with those thoughts being allowed to stew all day that you've come to the decision to let Evie take her own life back.
* * * * *
"So that's really about it," you tell Evie once she's arrived. "After talking I just had a long time to think and I realized that... that I wasn't thinking."
You'd just finished giving her the truth about everything. The in-depth version even. You'd explained exactly what you'd stumbled into with the book and where events, seemingly beyond your control, had taken you. What you'd found as Dane that so terrified you into wanting out, something Evie herself had somewhat run into. You'd even brought up your real name and while she was surprised that you were a guy, and a senior at that, like you'd expected that didn't bring up anything in her beyond that.
"So I want to apologize," you say, "for everything. Your life is nice and comfortable and... and it's yours so you deserve to have it back. I'm sorry for everything I put you through."
She's silent for a long time. A serious look that looks completely foreign on Dane's face is present. But finally, slowly, there's a nod. "I understand," she says. "I think I would've done the same thing if I'd found something like that and I guess you were kind of dragged along. But that doesn't make what you did to me right. I guess I'm lucky I only have this black eye."
"I know," you hang your head. "I screwed up and it was completely thoughtless."
"But..." She lets it hang and you're not sure if she's stringing you along or trying to decide for herself what to say next. Finally, however, she does speak. "But I accept your apology," she tells you. "Just switch back with me and we can go back to what we were doing before."
That stings and you can't help feeling like you were rejected. Still, you press on. "I know you're going to hate me for this but would you be able to stay for one more day," you ask her. "We can get you back tomorrow but there's a few things I have to do to be able to set it up."
You can see a look of disappointment and maybe a bit of fear and anger fall over her face which you quickly try to correct.
"Look, I screwed you over big time and I want to make it right," you tell her. "So what I plan on doing is getting another mask and stepping in for them because I can't go back to being Dane."
"But you'll let someone else take," she gestures at herself, "take this?"
"I'd let Hannah Westrick take it," you say and she gets a look of surprise on her face. "You can go back to being Evie Cummings again and I'll step in for her."
"Why would you do that," she asks.
"Because I want to make it up to you," you tell her, "and I want to help you. If I'm Hannah, then that fixes everything. Your biggest problem is dealt with, you and 'Hannah' can become friendly. If you're hanging around her, you know what that means right?"
"I don't..." She stops herself and grimaces, "No but you know right? You're there in my head."
"Trust me, I was in a similar situation before all of this stuff went down and I don't want to see the same thing happen to you," you tell her. "You're too nice a girl to end up in that pit."
"Thanks," she says quietly, "but what about the real Hannah? You're just going to throw her into this guy's life?"
"Hannah can take care of herself," you say. "Would you really be upset if she was brought down a peg?"
"I wouldn't but..." she trails off but catches herself. "No, you're right. You can... we can give it a shot and see what happens. But if we do this I'm not spending another day here."
You grimace at that, "I can't go home though, somebody's already got that locked up, and I'm not going back there either," you tell her. "Besides, I'm going to need your mask to get Hannah tomorrow and I need to think of how to do it."
"You said you stayed overnight where you have this stuff stored, right," she asks. "So stay there. I've got the practice clothes I wore Sunday in a locker so you can come to school as me wearing those and just get her before first period or something."
You're surprised that she'd have good enough instincts to catch on so fast and come up with an idea so quickly and maybe in that respect is a part where you differ from her. But you agree so you make a beeline to the locker room where you get changed into the t-shirt, shorts and shoes she had been wearing the day you grabbed her. You come out and hand her clothes to her. She emerges from the locker room a few minutes later looking fairly relieved as she hands you Dane's clothes, mask and keys.
You get her number and agree to text her once the swap is done. Then it's the strange sight of Evie Cummings driving in Dane's beat-up old car as you head to the elementary school.
* * * * *
Caleb does a double take when you walk into the basement. "Damn, she is cute," he says with a smile. "This is your new home?"
"You already saw it on Sunday," you tell him. "And not for long. I ran into the real girl and gave her back her life."
"So you're going back to Dane," he asks.
You shake your head, "No way. I'm staying here overnight then I'm grabbing my new new home tomorrow morning."
"So who is it?"
"You know a Hannah Westrick? Co-captain on the soccer team?"
That ears a negative response from him. "So if you're not going to be this girl anymore, mind if I take her mask home with me," he follows up.
"What? No way," you exclaim, "I'm gonna need her face to get Hannah tomorrow that's why I'm wearing her practice uniform. Evie's already back in her life."
"I wasn't talking about tonight," he says with a grin. "I mean more like once you've done the switch with this chick from the soccer team, send this girl's mask my way. You won't really have a need for it anymore."
It dawns on you exactly why he's asking for it. What would be the harm in giving it to him, you wonder? He's right in that you'll have no use for Evie's mask once the switch is made and if he wants to play with himself under it then what's the issue? But something hits you and you can't help but feel a bit of revulsion at the idea of taking Evie, even though it's not really her, and doing whatever he wants to her body. It's that protective feeling coming back once more and you're suddenly reluctant to give the mask to him. indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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