Printed from https://writing.com/main/interactive-story/item_id/1434278-The-Adventures-of-Assman--Butt-Boy/cid/2084938-Go-check-out-that-big-crashing-sound
A large crashing sound nearly made the duo jump up in their seats and overturn their table topped with pizza and beer. Assman and Butt Boy clambered out of their wide booth, rushing outside to find the source of the commotion - but first, they needed to gear up of course! They each rushed into their own phonebooth on the side out the street and in true cartoon fashion they barged out the doors seconds later in full uniform, grinning and nodding at each other and ready for action.
Their massive bellies and butts sloshed and swayed in their tight spandex, especially just after their recent big meal, as they ran down the street in search of the loud sound. However, it wasn't difficult to find - someone appeared to be smashing the windows in front of a large department store, using some sort of Dr. Octopus-looking gadget to grab onto multiple vending machines and tip them over, no doubt trying to steal the contents inside.
"Wahahaha! When I'm through with all the stores in the city, there will be no gas-inducing foods left whatsoever! The men of Metroville will be forced to snack on my patented GasEx Grub Bars - Better than Beano! (Trademark)! Hehehe," the supervillain laughed maniacally, using another small gadget to empty all the food and quarters inside the machines at once. Hundreds of chip bags, candy bars and sugary drinks fell down to the floor, which were quickly collected up by the villain's other gadget's arms and tossed into a large hopper to be disposed of. Almost immediately after the arms quickly filled the vending machines with hundreds of nutrient bars with bland packaging, the words "GasEx Bars" written across them in dull lettering.
"Not so fast!" the booming voice of Assman cried, halting GasEx temporarily in his tracks. The villain could only stare, then twist his smile into a sneer.
"Wohoho! If it isn't the Gassy Duo themselves! To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked, giving a bow.
"You'll never get away with this GasEx! We all know that true men are supposed to be proud of and enjoy their gas, not be ashamed of it and eliminate it! You're going down!" Butt Boy yelled, turning to Assman who gave him an approving nod.
However, something told Butt Boy to start off this fight with a bit more 'bang'...
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