Lisa meekly followed Deric into a dark but loud restaurant. During the ride in his ‘pimped-out car’ which was nothing more than a Saturn with rims, Deric had talked like a nonstop chatterbox. Lisa could not understand a word he was saying. She hoped that she had nodded her head at the right moments.
A hostess showed them to a couple’s booth. The booths were built to accommodate large frames. Lisa wiggled in, still not used to moving around in the fat suit. Deric shooched in with remarkable speed and put his arm around her shoulder. “Hope you like BBQ, baby. This place is famous for it!”
She tried to smile, although it was more of a cringe.
A waiter came by. “What would you like to drink?”
“Root beer, man!” said Deric. “Nothing better! What you want, baby?”
“I-I’ll just have some water…”
“Nah, she ain’t thirsty for just water! Bring the lady some lemonade.”
A minute later the waiter returned with the beverages. He placed a pitcher of root beer by Deric and one of lemonade by Lisa. Interesting, Lisa thought. Restaurants her give a pitcher of beverage per person. She wished that she could reach for her pad of paper, but Deric had her griped to tight.
She tried to make the best of it. “S-so…do you ever wonder why everyone in this town is so…big?”
“You mean fat?” He smiled his goofy, irritating smile. “You can say fat, girl.” He suddenly stood up, raising a glass of root beer that he had just poured for himself. He shouted so all the other patrons could hear him. “South Barkalow fat is the way to be at! Ain’t that right?”
A few other diners returned his cheer. Lisa blushed with embarrassment under the gaze of so many jolly fat folk. The waiter came back. “What would you like to order?”
“We can split the Lovers’ Dinner 4 Two,” Deric replied before Lisa could open her mouth. “Think you can handle that, baby?”
“S-sure…”
Deric wasn’t really listening for her answer. “Chop! Chop, man! The girl’s dying for some food over here!”
Lisa groaned as she sat through another of Deric’s endless tirades, unable to get her own word in. Luckily her mike was turned on. Maybe she could review the tape later in hopes that Deric had actually said something newsworthy. She could only sit there with worry. She wasn’t a fat girl, another one of South Barkalow’s plump prime.
“You really are an insensitive girl,” Deric remarked with his goofy grin.
“W-w-what?!”
“I’ve been pinching your fine junk in the trunk for the past five minutes and you haven’t budged a bit.”
She jumped, more from the shock of Deric pinching her but than his actual action of doing so.
“I-I’ve got slow reflexes,” she replied. This was enough to cause Deric to laugh for five minutes. Of course she couldn’t feel anything under the suit. Sooner or later Deric was going to realize that she was wearing a fat suit. What would happen then?
Finally the waiter came with the food. Lisa’s eyes bulged from behind her glasses. The manhole sized plate was covered with two whole racks of BBQ ribs, a mountain of fries and three ears of corn. The waiter sat it down in front of Deric, who was licking his lips. Her heart sank to her stomach when another waiter came by…and gave her a plate identical to Deric’s.
This was the Lovers’ Dinner 4 Two?! Deric sure acted like it was. His big jaws had already bitten off one bone from his ribs. He talked with his mouth full. “Eat up girl, there’s plenty to go around! I’ll even give you some of my fries if you want them.”
That was not going to happen. Back home Lisa had barely managed to finish one of the rib dinners at Applebee's. She had never contemplated eating this much food in her life. It seemed impossible to do but she had created a persona she had to upkeep.
It was obvious that Lisa was a slow eater by South Barkalow standards. She was getting full from one rack of ribs and two ears of corn just as Deric finished his entire meal. His goofy grin slipped a few notches as he noticed her pace. “You sure eat slow, baby. Is everything alright?”
“I-I’ve just been on the road for so long, so I’ve had to skip meals…” she stammered, trying to swallow the BBQ meat.
“Oh, I know just what’s wrong with you then.” Deric somehow managed to scoot in closer when they had previously been separated by inches of fat and blubber suit. Lisa felt the suit becoming too hot again. He broke off some of her ribs and held them up to her mouth. “You just haven’t been able to do upkeep, so your body is not used to your regular meal sizes. Don’t worry, Deric will feed you.”
She opened her mouth to decline but Deric shoved the ribs into her mouth. She was forced to chew the meat off or choke. He moved the corn cob across her lips so she could chew. He inserted the rest of her fries, one by one, into her mouth. Then he cut the remaining pig off the bones and forked bites into her mouth. The last bit of BBQ pork entered her mouth. “There, isn’t that better?”
Lisa wanted to puke. Her stomach was stretched beyond full, and the fat suit felt too restrictive.
The waiter came back to clear the plates. “What would you like for dessert?”
“A slice of the Quintuple Chocolate Cake apiece. Nothin’ better!”
Lisa gagged at the prospect of more food.
“What’s wrong, baby? Ooohhh, that’s right, you haven’t been able to eat this much in a while. Deric will fix you right up.”
She froze. Deric had started massaging her middle! She couldn’t really feel it. The Fat Albert wannabe seemed to enjoy gripping the rubber padding.
His goofy grin lit up. “Man, girl, you’re nice and squishy! But no wonder you’re full, you got a hard mass sitting right here…”
She sat there horrified. His hands were patting around the tape recorder. Soon he would realize what it was and her cover would be blown. What to do?!
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