At that precise moment, an inter-temporal rift opened precisely 7 feet 6 inches west of Jason. In a blinding flash of light, a strange-looking man appeared. He was wearing a stovepipe hat and a 19th-century style suit, with a large monocle on one eye and a gold pocketwatch in his hand. Turning towards Jason, his mustachioed face lit up with a wide grin.
"Why, hello there, young lady! By Jove, it certainly is a marvelous day, this July 30th of 1909! Indeed, we are fortunate to be living in an age of such unrivaled prosperity! What with Taft's latest policies against the trusts, and all of these recent developments in the aero-plane industry, we may well be the richest nation on Earth! Before long, we'll all be calling each other on the tele-phone to let our friends know when we will arrive in our auto-mobiles. I really must get one, one of these days. I mean, if that Ramsey woman can cross the country in one, it can't be too hard... Oh, but where are my manners. I am Charles Francis Lenimore, Esquire, at your service. And you, young lady, are...?"
"Jason, and I'm not really a girl... something really weird is going on here."
"Oh dear! My greatest apologies. Given your stature and shapely figure, I mistook you for a young woman. I can see now the error of my ways. By the way, what exactly do you find peculiar, sir?"
"Uhh... well, the fact that your talking like it's 1909, for starters, when it's actually 2009."
The man blinked in surprise, then glanced at his watch, scrutinizing its dials.
"Bollocks! This is all wrong! Damn! I thought this would work this time! Drat drat drat drat drat! Now I'll have to start all over again! Off by a hundred years... I knew I shouldn't have rented the cheap time machine..."
Jason's eyes went wide with surprise. "You're from the future? Really?!!! Maybe you can help me with my problem, then."
"Yeah... I come from about 100 years in the future. I was supposed to travel back to 1909 to demonstrate my ability to blend in as a local of that time period. It's part of my training to get a time license. I spent three weeks getting the outfit together and practicing my early-20th-century dialect and memorizing historical events. And now, it's all for nothing because the stupid machine mixed up the date! Now I'm stuck in this time period for 48 hours while the temporal vortex recharges... sorry if I'm ranting. I'm just a little pissed at the current situation, is all. Anyways, I'm technically not supposed to meddle in stuff when I'm time traveling, but since I'm already 100 years off, I guess I couldn't do much more harm. So all right, shoot."
Jason looked down and blushed. "Well... I tasted some of my mom's soup, and it changed me into a girl."
The man did a double take. "You said this was 2009, right?"
"Yeah, last time I checked. Why?"
"Huh... that's REALLY weird... genemods weren't invented until 2031, and they didn't get fast until at least 2040. So either your mom is a time traveler, or she's found some way to induce full-body restructuring using the technology of the early 21st century... either way, I think I have the solution. I'm no doctor, but I have a diagnostic tool for emergencies. I'll try and find out what caused this, and how to reverse it."
"You'll help me? Honest? Thanks! Hopefully I can get changed back soon..."
"All righty, then. Just step in here and do what the voice says."
The man opened up a small umbrella, and before Jason's eyes it unfolded into a small, phone booth-sized box with a door. Jason opened it and stepped inside.
"Hello and welcome to Medi-tech client interface systems, copyright 2104 Klein Robotics incorporated. Please stand still while we run a full diagnosis..."
The computer made a few boops and whirring noises as it ran its tests. After about 30 seconds, it stopped.
"Diagnostic complete. Status:
diseases/infections: NONE
physical injuries: NONE
genetic defects: raised risk of type-3 diabetes. recessive x-chromosome factor for TK syndrome. Recent genetic alteration: Y chromosomes displaced. Possible genemod???
immunizations: has not been vaccinated for: Benson's disease, cancer, Alzheimers. Recommend referral to licensed physician.
Radiation: WARNING!!! Dangerous levels of targeted FRM radiation. Possible physical changes. Contact licensed radiation detox team ASAP!!!
Biostats:
Sex: female (physical), undetermined (genetic- atypical X-chromosome)
Age: 16
Height: 168 centimeters
Weight: 62 Kilograms
Blood type: A positive
Additional notes: Brainscans indicate predisposition towards masculine behavior, lesbianism.
Conclusion: Subject was originally male, recently transformed. If transformation was non-consensual, advise contacting Bureau of Transformations for reversal/counseling."
The machine whizzed briefly, then printed out a list of the diagnoses. The side door opened, and Jason walked out. He handed the printout to the time-traveler, who scrutinized the details. After he finished looking them over, he said...
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