"Lisa's Full Service Salon."
Charles read the sign on the window, and wondered why this woman could possibly need his help. The more he looked at her, however, the more he realized that this was a very attractive woman. Once that knowledge sunk in, Charles discovered that he felt much more charitable.
Charles began the walk toward the woman, and slowly took in every detail of her appearance as he approached. Shoulder-length brown hair . . . red lipstick covering the barest hint of a smile . . . tone body . . . tall . . . professional attire . . . bare legs . . . scuffed, almost worn out navy blue pumps . . .
"Hi, I'm Lisa," she said, jolting Charles out of his studious leering. "Would you mind helping me for a moment?"
"Sure, if I can."
"Please come in. I'm not quite ready to open, but I am having a problem that you may be able to help me with. By the way, is that a stack of résumés you're holding?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm out looking for a job."
"Really?! What kind of job are you looking for?"
Before Charles even realized it was happening, he spent the next fifteen minutes being subjected to a subtle interrogation performed by a complete stranger. Distracted by Lisa's attractiveness and obvious interest in every arcane detail of his personal life, Charles never even stopped to consider why she was asking him so many questions, or why she failed to make any further mention of helping her with a problem. Without a second thought, he revealed the fact that he lived alone, was single, had no family to speak of, and that no one even knew where he was at that time. When Lisa laughed and said, "I guess you could just disappear and no one would even know you were missing!", he quickly laughed and very honestly agreed.
It would be the last time Charles laughed for a long, long time.
Suddenly, Lisa grew serious and looked him right in the eye. "Charles, I may have a job for you," she said.
The first thought that went through his mind was that he certainly did not go to college to work in a beauty salon. Nevertheless, Lisa WAS extremely attractive, and he could certainly use a little immediate cash. "Besides," he thought, "she knows I have a college degree. She probably wants to me manage the salon and advise her on all of her business decisions." The thought was appealing enough to at least hear her out, so Charles asked what exactly she had in mind.
"It may be easier just to show you," Lisa explained. "I have so many uses for you, Sweetie. I may have a hard time making up my mind! Come with me."
Lisa led Charles to the back of the store, through a curtain, and down a short hallway. She pulled off a bracelet that held a key, and unlocked three separate locks on a large steel door. Charles would have probably thought this was relatively unusual if he had not been busy staring at her legs, and imagining how they would feel if he were to simply reach down and run his hand up and down them. "She did call me 'Sweetie,'" he thought. "I know what that means."
Visions of the inevitable sex were just starting to form in his mind when the steel door swung open with a loud squeal. He peered into the small room and saw what appeared to be an instrument panel along the right wall, a strange upright glass box or closet in the middle of the room, and several shelves with different size boxes along the left wall.
"See that glass box, Charles? That is a brand new tanning booth that is going to revolutionize the industry. Unfortunately, there are some instructions printed inside that I simply can't figure out. Do you mind taking a look at them for me?"
"Typical," Charles thought.
"Sure, Lisa, I'll be glad to explain them to you," he said as he crossed the room toward the door in the glass box. He pulled the handle on the door and felt the heavy latch release. As he peered inside, however, he did not see any writing whatsoever.
"It's printed on the back wall," Lisa said, walking toward him. "You can hardly see it. You have to look really closely."
Charles stepped inside the box and walked up to the back wall. Just as he was about to turn around to ask Lisa what she was talking about, he felt a rush of air as the glass door slammed shut and latched.
The first thing he noticed was the silence. It was deathly quiet in the enclosure. He could see Lisa laughing through the glass, but he could not hear a thing. He realized the tanning booth must be soundproof, and that she was obviously playing a joke on him. He reached for the door, but he realized that there was no handle on the interior. Indeed, the entire box seemed to be perfectly sealed.
For the first time, a sense of uneasiness began to creep into Charles' stomach. It was not helped by the fact that Lisa quickly walked over to the instrument panel and turned it on. Charles watched as she put her hand on a dial and paused in thought. Finally, after glancing over her shoulder at Charles one final time, she turned the dial and pushed a large green button.
Every wall of the enclosure suddenly lit up with a blinding white light. Charles suddenly feared for his life as every cell in his body began to scream and burn. He reached out instinctively to slam his fist on the wall of the box, but almost fell forward as the sides seemed to have disappeared.
Lisa observed with sadistic glee as the shrinking began instantaneously, and did not stop until Charles reached his final size. She had uses for tiny men of many different sizes, from almost microscopic to half a foot tall. For the especially annoying Charles, however, she had chosen: