"Alright, your total is going to be $40.34."
I readily paid with my credit card and heaved the heavy plastic bag off of the counter, containing a few of my essentials. I had a maid who did most of this stuff, but it felt good to get my own shopping done once in a while, if only to stave off my laziness. Picking up the chocolate bar I also purchased (another fun perk to doing your own shopping, you don't need to ask for snacks!), I headed on out, feeling pretty confident about tomorrow, and crossed the street to fantasize about how well, or how badly, the date would go, munching happily on my chocolate bar.
...hey those screeching tires sounded pretty close.
*WHUMPF*
I felt something hard slam into my hip and found myself flung across the street. My first thought was how lucky it was that nothing I bought was glass or otherwise fragile. My second was OW OW OW FUCK FUCK OW as I slammed hard into the ground on my shoulder.
"Oh my goodness!" a woman's voice cried out. "Are you okay?"
Wincing, I tested my arms and legs out, pushing myself to a sitting position as stars popped in front of my eyes. As I delicately moved my arms to check if anything was broken, the door to the old junker that nearly made me into roadkill opened, and a bizarre looking woman with a beehive hairdo and dark glasses stepped out, a shawl draped over her.
"You stepped out from behind a lightpost, I didn't even see you!" the woman said, wringing her hands. "I am SO sorry, do you need to go to the hospital or whatever you humans go to?"
I blinked, assuming I misheard that last bit, and shook my head. "I-I'm fine, nothing broken. Just going to be bruised." I hobbled to my feet and went to collect my groceries, though the woman quickly swept into action and collected my groceries for me, retrieving one of those Eco-friendly cloth shopping bags from her car to replace my torn plastic one. "Th-thanks," I said, somewhat alarmed by her kindness.
"Think nothing of it!" the woman said. "Are you sure you're okay? Nothing bleeding or anything?"
"N-no, I'm fine, really. Just gonna go lie down," I said defensively, more then a little perturbed by this.
"Well here," she insisted, shoving a card into my hand with a phone number and a...name on it? Mundunga? I pocketed it so I could just leave as soon as I can. "If you need to head to the hospital or anything please call me, I'll cover any of your medical expenses. I am SO sorry!"
After many more insisting that I was fine, the woman finally left, her old jalopy trundling away as I made my way home with a slight limp and a growing ache. It felt like hours before I finally got home, tossing my stash on the couch and collapsing next to it. Groaning in agony, I reached into the bag and tried to fish around for the package of sour candies I purchased when I felt something I didn't recognize. Confused, I pulled out-
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