"Now you remember." the man said
"Tatiana will be disppointed to learn that she isn't more memorable, How many voluptuous sopranos have you dated. "
"But she was dieting. Told me she wanted to get back to 120. I was a bad influence she told me. Not to mention she was always out of town for a performance."
"Time's change." the odd man continued. "Tatiana has found her niche as a Wagnerian soprano and you know that when you sing Wagner, you can't be too big. "She's in the market for a man around the house. Particularly if he's handy in the kitchen. She liked your style but now that she's 275 it's important that her man makes her look small. "How big are you?"
"Forty inch pants." Eric said not revealing that he could hardly button them.
"Not your pants, dumm." the man retorted. "Your belly."
He whipped out a tape measure and held it around Eric's middle.
"Forty-eight." he announce. "Gotta be sixty before Tatiana is interested. "Then you gotta be available. When's your enlistment up?"
Eric was torn. This might be his big change for a new life with a big woman but he had four years to go before he was out of the Navy. But then how much weight would he have to gain to have a sixty inch gut? It wasn't really his plan to be a fat man. If anything he needed to lose weight. He'd always fancied the idea of being a fit, inshape man with a very fat wife. But then what the heck. At least he could say yes and keep the offer open. He didn't really need to gain the weight quickly.
"I've got four years before I'm out." he said. "Will she wait?"
'She'll give you six months or start you on a a trial basis right now. What's it gonna be?
Eric thought a moment and answered.
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