At least, you think, the cat litter usually keeps the urine from making its way down to you. That's something. But you're still stuck in a catbox, and it's no fun.
You try to sleep as best you can, and then, suddenly, you awaken. You're no longer the newspaper! You try to leap up and celebrate, but of course you can't leap, since you're still an object.
You're hanging by what feels like your neck, looking out the window at the new morning light. You look around (how, you're not sure), and realize you're in an enormous bathroom.
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