Chapter #13Playing the Hostess by: Unknown "Melissa! How lovely you could make it!" I gushed with a fake smile. It was Doug's 60th birthday and we were having the neighbours over for drinks to celebrate. I air-kissed Melissa, a brunette lady that I played bridge with. Yeah thats right...I played bridge these days...no more rock climbing weekends or ultimate frisbee in the park with my buddies. These days my buddies were a collection of middle-aged trophy wives and bridge was about as strenuous as it gets. I had really been making an effort to live Marsha's life in the last month, hoping that something would click into place and all this would become normal. As yet it still felt like I was living in some kind of horrible nightmare.
"Oh Marsha I wouldn't have missed this!" She smiled back. In an attempt to cover up her ageing face, I think she had more make-up on than me if that was possible. "You must come to my birthday lunch next Friday!"
"Of course I will honey, I can't wait!" I lied "Whats the big number?" I whispered.
"55 Marsha...Can you believe it!"
"No...surely not" I replied trying to keep the tremble out of my voice. I can't believe this woman was younger than me! Thinking about it, I was the oldest out of all my 'friends'. I started to feel the tears well up, so I made my excuses and headed through the kitchen, to the back garden. I quickly lit up a cigarette to calm down. I had found that my emotions were a lot harder to control these days. I turned and looked at myself in lounge window. I was dressed in a dark brown halter neck dress with nude stockings and 5 inch suede pumps.My ash blonde hair had been freshly bleached and styled in a bouffant style bee-hive, which Carol had recommended.I had refused her recommendation of having botox, but maybe I should of. Did I really look older than Melissa? I sighed and turned as the door opened behind me to see Andrea standing in the doorway.
It was the first time I had seen her since the hospital and she looked beautiful in an expensive looking ivory dress with matching high-heeled sandals.Her long blonde hair cascading around her shoulders. I stopped and paused, feeling a terrible longing to take her into my arms.
"Hi mom" she said in an embarrassed voice, bringing me crashing down to earth.
"Hello Andrea" I replied in my husky voice and took a drag on my cigarette.
"You're smoking..." she said surprised, pulling the door shut behind her so we could talk properly.
"Yeah" I shrugged "I can't stop. I guess this is where you say 'I told you so'"
"Actually I was going to ask if I could have one?" she smiled apologetically.
I started to protest, but gave up as she took the pack and lighter out of my hand. I shook my head as she lit up. I had not seen her smoke since the before the kids were born but I didn't have the energy to argue with her anymore.
"I know, I know" she replied blowing out smoke quickly "but its been pretty stressful since...well you know"
"Oh I can imagine" I replied sarcastically, causing her to cringe.
"Sorry....How has it been...I mean really?" she asked quietly.
"Really? Well let me see, I smoke 20 a day and have a minor drink problem. My day mostly comprises of watching soaps, shopping or, if I'm lucky, a game of bridge with the girls...oh and of course I'm a 35 year old heterosexual man trapped in the body of a 58 year old married woman...other than that, things have been just great thanks honey!" I replied angrily.
"And...how are things...you know with Dad?" she continued unabashed.
"you mean am I having sex with him?" I replied " Don't you worry honey, I'm fulfilling his needs just like you asked me to. Not that he fulfils mine. Did you know your father suffered from premature ejaculation? I found out first hand!" I huffed and shook my head bitterly.
Andrea turned away, clearly upset. "I...I..hoped that you would get used to it...that you know...you would adjust"
"Adjust! Do you know what being in this body means?" I hissed "I have to let you father fuck me every night! It's disgusting! Having him inside me, having to clean up afterwards....and I don't even get to orgasm!"
I rummaged angrily through my purse. "Do you know what these are?" I waved a thick panty liner at her "Turns out your mother in in the early stages of urinary incontinence! I went to the doctor...you know to get more HRT medication...and he said that my bladder was only likely to get weaker as I got older! Thats what I have to look forward to Andrea - Sexual frustration and adult diapers!" tears streamed down my face as the self pity hit and I crushed out the cigarette beneath my pump.
"God....Steve...all I can say is I'm so sorry" she replied quietly rubbing her eyes "If there was anything I could do, you only have to ask"
I gave her a hard look "You know there is Andrea....Just give me a weekend....Like you promised"  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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