Nearlies

Home Surrounded By Relatives (Macauley Culkin's smash-hit follow-up) (CopyPaper )

Americaz Text 2p Modelz: A group of semi-attractive women put on a lot of makeup and see who can be the best texter in America. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! )

The Monotonous Seven (Jale DeCrittare )

"Meet the Flockers" A story set in a sweatshop, where tiny women from Asian countries spray aerosol velvet on cheap souvenir animals and jewelry boxes. (Ravenwand, Rising Star! )

Meet the Frockers -- yes, tiny women from Asian countries sew frocks. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

The Expandables - about the Rubber Band featured in that song by the Spinners. (CopyPaper )

Casino Royale with cheese - The pre Pulp Fiction story of Jules and Vincent visiting the MacDonalds on the strip in Vegas. Jules picks up some interesting scripture from the crazy ass sandwich board end of the world guy in front of Caesars Palace (GMartin )

The Girl With the Dargon Tattoo (Homestar Runner Trogdor skit, anyone?) (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

The Bridges's of Madison County - Beau and Jeff move home (deemac )

Les Indifferentes - Not really miserable, they just don't care (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Pide & Prejudice - A story in favour of Turkish bread. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

The Slow and the Furious - Even after years and years of car chases and death defying stunts, a few guys make it to retirement age. Their distrust of the police and numerous governments make for an interesting transition to the nursing home. (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

Singin' In The Rhine - Gene Kelly goes to Germany (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Singin' in Tehran - on and on he goes ... (deemac )

Singin' in the Reign of Queen Victoria - Gene tries a Music Hall number or two. (deemac )

Queen Victoria's Secret - a special line of sexy whalebone corsets (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Crewel Summer - Nope, not the Bananarama song, it's about little old ladies who knit and do needlepoint and other crafts, but only in June, July and August (Dad )

Rip van Tinkle - the man of the 20-year pee (Dad )

Drip van Tinkle - Hold on, he hasn't quite finished yet ... (deemac )

Romeo Versus Juliet (Don't be surprised if something in my port shows up with this title because personally? I love it.) (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

King Leer - all done with a nasty smirk (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Fifty Shades of Green - an Irish prequel to Fifty Shades of Grey. (Teerich - 2019 )

My Fair Laddie - all done in drag. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

How green was my Valet - the story of a Welsh dresser on a visit to Ireland. (Teerich - 2019 )

Death of a Salesperson - from the politically correct Arthur Miller series. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

The Great Gas Bag - Fitzgerald wrote about Gatsby, this is the sequel, where is brother suffers constant flatulence. (Dad )

Lunchtime at Tiffanys - for those who prefer to sleep in (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

"I'm just a girl who can't say Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch" - Hammerstein's discarded first draft of a song from Oklahoma (deemac )

The Wool of Wall Street (Talk about getting fleeced! {e:rimshot}) (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

All our Pesterdays: Memoirs of a stalker (Teerich - 2019 )

Santa Claus is coming to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. The Welsh version (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

The Hatchers in the Pie: Yuck! It's WAY past it's sell by date (Teerich - 2019 )

Midwinter Murders - a change of season, a change of scene but just as many daeths. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Chariot on Fire - the less compelling story of those who didn't make it to the 1924 Paris Olympics (Dad )

Toy Storey: Woody Leaves Home to live in a tower block. (Teerich - 2019 )

Red Rum on the Orient Express. A back to front killing. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

As You Lick It: An Ice Cream Lover's Handbook (Teerich - 2019 )

Journey to the stairs - when you can't quite reach the stars (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Sleeping with the Stars - The Playboy Channel's 1st reality show. (Dad )

Down a Lazy River - go with the flow! (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

(Baby, We Were) Born for Buns - The Fat Boys rap version of the classic biker song, only about eating. (Dad )

America's Got to Lent -- A reality show about giving up certain types of luxuries as a form of penitence (THANKFUL SONALI back on Jan 4 )

Eight Brides for Seven Brothers - one kept as a reserve. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

How Clean is My Valley: Memoirs of a Womble (Teerich - 2019 )

How to Drain Your Dragon (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

The Cane Mutiny - Students revolt against corporal punishment (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

How the Vest was Won - the story of last year's Tour de France (deemac )

One of our Dinosaurs is Messing - Road diversion ahead (deemac )

Keep On Clubbin' You - What Ike said to Tina (Dad )

Star Wars: A New Grope (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

President Kardashion (Alala )

Tietanic - it was actually held together with bits of string. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

The Comfort of Stranglers (One letter truly makes all the difference, doesn't it) (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

The Wizard of Odds - he works in Las Vegas, handicapping horse races, football games, and the chances of Liz and Dick being married in heaven. (Dad )

I'll 'ave a Twist - Dickens attempt at a story about pontoon. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Batman and Robbing - Batman goes bad (Teerich - 2019 )

Nickelless Nickleby - Dickenian tale about poor people. Wait a minute - you mean that's all he wrote about? Why didn't someone tell me! (Dad )

Singing in the Grain - Gene Kelly goes country (Dad )

Singin' in the Rayon - Gene visits a regenerated cellulose fiber factory, where purified cellulose, primarily wood pulp, is chemically converted into a soluble compound, dissolved and converted via a spinneret to filaments which are chemically solidified (deemac )

Ringin' In the Sane - Olde English New Year's Eve custom of locating anyone in the village who wasn't "eccentric" (not always easy or even possible) and running around them in circles while jingling sleigh bells. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Ringing In the Seine - French expression of discontent with modern technology where one tosses one's cell phone in the river and says, "Oh, thees darn phone! Eet annoys me so much!" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Sanguine In the Rain - Just because you can't sing doesn't mean you have to mope. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Ordinary Steeple - I'm not sure which is blander: the congregation that built the church or a documentary about it (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

Knickers Less Nickleby - his pants forgot him. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Gone with the Wine - The grape crop in Bordeaux was destroyed, and everybody left. (Dad )

The Great Gutsby - Memoirs of a gourmand. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Dawn of the Planet of the Grapes (Because those Champagne grapes have had enough of what humanity has done to them) (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

Harry Putter and the Deadly Bunkers (Teerich - 2019 )

The Lizard of Oz: Godzilla destroys Sidney Harbour Bridge (Teerich - 2019 )

The Gruff Hallo - How to Cure a Frog in the Throat (Teerich - 2019 )

The sound of Moosic -- movie about a cow choir, much appreciated by ♥HOOves♥ . (THANKFUL SONALI back on Jan 4 )

The Malteser Cross - (the Lite version) (Teerich - 2019 )

Mall Teaser Ross - He stands at the mall entrance and makes snarky comments about your costume. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

(Jucy) Lucy-The myth about only 10% of our brains being used being perpetuated by crazy neuroscientists, and only one person can stop them: a cook who has perfected making burgers with the cheese inside. (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

Also Spat Zarathutra - Nietsche's false teeth were starting to slip (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Family Toes - a series about a family's feet - narrated by a podiatrist (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Heel Have To Go - An old Jim Reeves song where a podiatrist advises flat shoes (deemac )

Pick Up the Pisces - Tribute band Mediocre Green Band song about fish. (Dad )

Done with the Wine - A take off of Gone with the Wind, and the life story of Bill W, one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (Dad )

Caturday in the Park (Chicago's song rewritten for the digital age!) (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

Law & Disorder - It's filmed in Chicago, after all. (Dad )

The Life of Pi - r² (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

(I Know) It's Only a Moroccan Roll (But I Like It) - Sir Mick Jagger's song about a baker in Casablanca (Dad )

Another One Bites the Crust -- Queen's take on Thanksgiving pie (Indelible Ink )

Another One Rides the Bus - What Freddy and Brian and so forth sang when they were in school (Dad )

Samson and de Lilo - Beach movie version of Cecil B de Mille epic with an over-inflated reputation (deemac )

The Dirigible on the River Kwai - The Hindenberg goes to Thailand (Dad )

Pirates of The Mediterranean:The Curse of the Fake Pearl: A merry band of Misfit pirates wreak hilarity & hi-jinks on the high seas after they discovered the precious jewels they steal are just costume jewelry. (BradJShaw ⚓ )

A Bridge too Short ( Gives an account of operation Beer Garden during WW II) (LJ hiding under the bed )

Forrest Grump - life is like a box of chocolates but he’s allergic to chocolate (Lilli is QUILLING! )

Two Kools for Sister Sara -- smokin' hot nun (Soldier_Mike )

Mission: Possible. Now turn on the TV screen. (Wiwaxia )

The Rapes of Rath: a mome rath from Wonderland terrorizes modern-day Oklahoma. Will the resilient Joads survive once more against this rapacious threat? (Wiwaxia )

No Lime for Sergeants - a British comedy (Dad )

Cherry and the Cream Factory:: the magical creation of a fresh cream cake, topped with a luscious red Cherry. (Wiwaxia )

Privates of the Caribbean - the porn version (Dad )

The Shape of Walter (Guillermo del Toro tackling men's body image issues in the goriest way possible, which admittedly might be worth the price of admission) (Elisa: Snowman Stik )

Fifty Shades of Orange - the Dutch sequel to Fifty Shades of Gray. (Dad )

Fifty Shades of Grey - OK, OK, but this new edition ain't what you think. It's just a colour chart for cement. (deemac )

Game of Tones - you win the kingdom by being the least tone deaf. (Dad )

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