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This is a story about the life abroad |
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my life I remember 3 yearsago, my cousin asked me if i have plan going abroad. I was certain in telling her that I don't want to work abroad because I don't want to be thousand miles away from my parents because I love them so much and I want to be with them at any time that they would urgently need my presence in their side. My cousin then asked me, you are still away from your parents because they are in Lanao del sur, one of the province in Mindanao, and you are here in Mertro Manila. I told her that I may be far from them but I can be with them at any time by just riding an airplane which would only take 2 hours to travel; but if I will be abroad, There is no certainty that I can go home at any time I want and further there is no certainty that I can go home in case of emergency or in case my parents and my family bady need me Destiny and will of Allah dictates what will happen because after one year my decision had changed 360 degrees because of circumstances and realization. First, I am becoming older and I have realized that I have been spending too much time in gimmicks with my colleage; this gimmicks often time senseless because we were just eating and having fun. As far as my colleague and friends are concerned it is okey for them but for my caseit had grossly affected my relgious standing because every time that we eat out, they always drinks; though I don't drink liqour houwever I know being a burn muslim that It is blatantly prohibited to be in a place where someone is drinking liqour or in a place where liqour is being sold. I cannot tell my friends to stop drinking while I am with them because they have also partly sacrifice because during our gimmick time they don't order pork because they know that I cannot eat pork; further, I have to go out with them as well because I have to have bonding moments because they are also my friend. I am just convincing my self that Allah will going to forgive me in going out with them because my intention is clear. I want them to show how muslims restrained their selves from doing things prohibited in Islam. By the end of the day, I would still find my self lonely, empty and guilty because I have been doing my wordly desire and needs without accomplishing my religious obligation. I felt that every day is a waste of time for me because I sometimes neglected to pray five times a day, an obligation to pray , neither I pray sunnah. This was happening because my faith is weak and it was aggravated because the environment that sorrounds me are all non- muslims. my work places where I worked don't allow us to pray during the office hour becuase it will destroy their productivity and it is a lost of money on their end; further, there is no prayer room where you could pray if you find time to place. After office hours it usually take an hour to transport from the office to my home; ang when I arrived it is already late and I am so exhausted. Often times, I was able pray Eisha, but I know that it is not sufficient for me to pray one time a day. After praying I usually watched movies using my portable DVD, which was destroyed before coming to Saudi Arabia because I didn't use it for almost 2 months. Sometimes. I want to go out of my room to talk to other people but I am ashamed because I am not used to talking with other maranaos. The reason why I don't want to talk with other maranaos because sometimes it becomes complicated. There are so many instances that happened that lead to my decisions opting to continually not communicate with them. The first instance when I was studying in college where my bestfriend tried to court me infront of our friends. He wrote a poem and he recited it infornt of me and my friends when we were in the library. I felt that during the time the time froze along with the leaves, air, people, birds except my heart that beat so fast. I don't know if I have a feelings on him but am certain for my self that I don't want to be in a relationship. Thus, I have decided to left him and my friends in the library and from that moment on, I have restrained my self from going to the library even if my heart wanted to; however, my brain was so powerful that it usually prevails. it usually dictated me not to be carried by my emotions. the second instance was when I decided to stay in one of the boarding houses in quiapo. I like the place because the owner was a maranao married to a tagalog woman. They had a four children, 1 female and 3 males. All of them are already of aged. I thought that at the start that it will be very okey for me to stay in that house because I had been residing in Manila for almost 3 years during that time and most of those time, I had stayed in a christian boarding houses and thus i never felt secured. During my first week in their boarding house was very okey because their children where very respectful. However, my peaceful life started to become complicated when the owner of the house arrived. When he saw me he told me that he wants to know me better because he is very happy because it was first time for them to have a maranao boarders. I told him that I feel the same way to. However, I was shocked when after a week, he knocked at my door and he was inviting to have coffee talk with me. at first, I told him that I don't have time he said that when you have free time you can tell me so that we can go out for coffee so we can get to know each other. When he invited me, I was so determined not to accept his invitation because I know that he may have good intentions; However, I am afraid that people might think negative things about what they would going to see. |
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