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before today, it had been at least 10 years |
| 617 and the dull ray of light is starting to beam in through this window in this room away from my home. Somehow, I managed to sleep so soundly even though I've awaken the beast. I smell him. In my hair on my skin, on the tips of my fingers. Is it possible that I feel little guilt? How can my chosen one's untruths be so inferior to mine. How can i stay inside here when he broke me 11 months ago. And again and again...and again. But I will because that is my destiny. It is wonderful and sweet, I tell myself. It's like a beautiful painting hung on the wall still wrapped in plastic. The colors are trapped inside and cannot touch the tips of your fingers or even one's imagination. Nobody understands my colors. Not like him. Time stands still when we are physically apart, no matter how long. But our spirit's are somehow familiar and know what to do to calm our person's when our eyes finally meet once again. Is it possible that our souls dance while we sleep? How does he still know me, how does he still love me? Does he love me? Making love all afternoon was euphoric. I felt like we were teenagers again, only there was more time for him to explore every inch of body he once couldn't keep his hands off of. His mouth does all the exploring now. I can still feel his wet lips on the small of my back, his hands caressing my thigh aggressively as if he is claiming ownership. I don't have him completely this time. I imagined his fuck but the poison that runs through his veins won't allow him love me the way he wanted to. Another hour and it would have been on. I smell him. I can taste the salt from this man and salt has never tasted so sweet. Can he feel me right now? I've always thought of him, throughout the years, he feels it, I know he must. I'm pretty sure he thinks of me too from time to time. His eyes, I love those eyes. I can see inside him. I know these eyes for so long, perhaps longer than our lifetime. They are so captivating, it feels like I'm looking through a mirror at my own eyes, almost as if they are meant only for me. They are mine, I think I'll keep them in my pocket. Please don't take them from me and give them to anyone else. This feeling is so overwhelming, I hope I can come down quickly before I return to this thing they call life. His words will do for now, I need them. I want to know what is inside his head and in his heart. |
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