When you look at me what do you see? Do you look past the smile, laughter, good nature and the mask that I wear everyday? No because you only see what you decide to look at. You don't see my heart breaking because I am not able to be a mother, that my depression gets the best of me, that I lost so many loved ones and that I have to hide that fact that I am bi-sexual from them so they wont get hurt, or the fact that I think about my friend who committed suicide so many years ago and I didnt even notice what was going on because I was getting abused in high school myself. When you ask how I am doing I do what I know you want me to do I keep going through the world with my mask on afraid to take off because I know you don't want to know the real me.
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