colours to the life.....

by vidda

Rated: 13+ · In & Out · Emotional · #1710768

a girl who feels there is nothing can make her happy.....

another day.......with dim lights and blank thoughts... Mary feels so bored as usual,every night is so boring for her. sleeping...is another scary thought for her. most people wished to have it but she used to hate it from her childhood. after her mother left her she just hated it. just so tired of having these thoughts again and again in her small mind,actually she is not small but her mind is smaller...each and avery day it is getting more small with heavy thoughts and shity moments.....

"mary...are u coming with us?" it is my room mate,niki. she likes going out. going out with any one..with her boyfriend mostly. and i'm fedup of hearing the same question again...again and again...again and again..,fedup of being so sympathatic infront of everyone. "no"...ït is going to be really fun this time"niki wants to please me always eventhough she knows that i don't want her to. "bye darling"she came & kissed my forhead & just went out &...i was just like a statue with no feelings. i feel sorry for her (actually sorry for me?),she used to care for me lot & i used to ignore her lot too.

this is my daily schedule watching out from the window in the evening...i like to watch dark shadows not bright lights. i would have like them if my life was not the same.... thining about what i have is just nothing. my boyfriend left me before week ago,he was just so fed up of my silent and with fedup my thoughts ,fedup of suspecting him.

mmmmm....yah it is the time for me to dream again and again my past...even i want or not..it is the time for me to dream my mom ...the way she died. she was also so boring like me,fedup like me. after dad died from a car accident she was just too weak to bear everything cameup,i love the time with dad & mom together..it was just too perfect. specially she couldn't bear the marriage proposals came from her family,they just want her to marry someone...just someone like they just want me to stay somewhere after her death.... somedays she didn't eat continuously...,she just want to go near dad. but why she didn't think about me ,may be she was so blind with the situation....

"rrrrrrrrrrrr"my alarm....änother day,again a boring day..."

"let's eat. i wokeup early today...,this is for yoü mary" niki was giving me a homemade hamburg & coffee. "no thanks.i just don't feel like eating" why the hell she is not getting bored with me,i hate talking..hate of seeing others sympathy

i went down to the kichen & had a coffee with milk bread. i used to love this college before..when i was coming from home with dad. now i'm so bored here after i was admitted to this hostel... it the same trees i'm seeing beside the road.. i went directly to the classroom...OMG....it is the same classroom i saw yeaterday. please god i need a change...a change with a fresh breath,a turn with colours....

"hi,íf you don't mind can i sit near to you?" i just looked up and came back to my world. is it my property? why he is asking from me? i don't mind your business boy but you are going to sit near to the worst person in the whole world.... i mean a person who doesn't care about others... "so..."so what please mind only your business.. "so,i'm Dave",very new this college. what's your name?" i just gave him the worst look he can ever have on his first day of the school. please mind your own business...

before i say that miss.July came for the chemistry lesson. "can i share with you your book,please" ahhh what? "yah"...

after lesson i was planning to go to the backyard of the school..i just wanted to think...just think,just to be blank... "hey your name is Mary ahh? don't ask how i found out...okkk,i saw your pendant"Dav was just like Niki only,I think he likes talking too... "do you mind if i want to borrow your books for today,please....." "ok"just wanted to save from him and go away...

i'm again on my window looking for dark clouds...they are my friends now,that is nice too. i want to be like normal,normal like other teenage girls. i just don't know how? i was so distracted from people after my mom left me,the way how most of them treted me when they knew I was just alone with no family... there were people who really want to help but they didn't have much money. my mom's step sister she just wanted me to go away from that family...once mom told me that she used to love dad and they were friends too. but before she express here self he did..he told mom that he loves him....

"Mary,there is a handsome guy infront of the door & he is saying he wants to meet you" ohhh what now... i stood up without thanking her..a handsome guy!!!!!

"hi,i just want to give you some of the books i finished,hope you need it for studies"it is Dave..,yeah he is handsom but it doesn't give nme any good...,another failure only... "do you mind if i came in?" yes i'm.. "no,that is ok" i want some colours to my life...from someone who care about me. is he the one? "Mary,i'll see you at night..i'm going out with my honeyyyyy" sure Niki i just don't care where you going... "so what are you doing now?" "mmmmm nothing just looking out from the window" why i should mentioned about my window to him,who is he? "really i like also to look out specially when it is dark..i love watching lights" "hahahhhhh"i start laughing,after long time i started laughing even it is not funny(he made me laugh) "when you are laughing you look very fresh" why he didn't ask me the reason i laughed...how can i tell him that i don't want to watch damn bright lights... "ok so i'll see you tomorrow" i didn't say anything...nothing,i don't have anything to say...my mind is again blank...

no one in the room just me..thanks god Niki went out. i should sleep before she come... but I hate sleeping,is Dave is really handsome? I don't know there is something really special with him. i wish if he didn't go back... if he could help me to forget my past. how comes...i forget my darkness & just smiled with him in a second? how comes he made me laugh so easily? don't be just a fool...don't you remember how easily your boyfriend left you... look at your self you are just nothing....

i saw him...i saw Dave,i was next to him sitting & we were just talking....

wok up again for another day...but a day i want.... i feel more alive ,fell that i want to live. what it is this Niki I saw first..oh my god now she will start asking if I want to eat something... but she didn't... "Mary..,i feel so bored & i didn't mke anything for the breakfast. we had a fight yesterday night,i don't know i got this terrible headache...i don't think i'll go to school today" how comes...i thopught she is one of the most happiest girls in the world...she is damn bneautiful & smart. i'm so sorry for you & one way i think you should give some rest to your little mouth... so...what i'm going to wear...black..no not black,why i should change me for someone...yeah i want,but not this soon.. i'll wear black only....

i was so in hurry to see him again...i wanted him to make me laugh again... without making any late I went directly to the classroom. but it was empty,his chair was empty. and i hate this day,i wanted to sit next to him,but his chair is empty.... and my mind is blank again....i am back to normal,back to my empty life... "hi Dave ask me to give you this books,he feels sick today...i think climate changes"a tall skinny guy came to me told with a forced smile. i know him. once i had a little fight witeh him,because he told me that i look like a wich...yeah i'm. i love everyhing black...except Dave,he is the only thing I could see with little more colours....

even i want to go and see Dave i went directly to the room...what!!!!! Dave was sitting & talking with Niki...i feel like fainting...OMG!!! no i should not show that i'm upset,anyways i just saw him yesterday & Niki is more perfect than me...too perfect than me. there is nothing for me except darkness in this world,do i deserve it this much? "hi i was waiting for you Mary"is he trying to convince me???? there is no need for that...,we never knew each other. "ah..ok.." i just threw my words by force. "you know Mary,my honey apologized to me...& he is waiting outside,i just waited for you",okkk...bye!!!!!" excuse me!!!!! i don't want to hear anything from you Niki...I'm jealous with you,jealous with you like nothing... why in this world some of them getting everything??? "did you got your books? i felt little bit sick in the morning..i think climate changes. but i thought i should come and say hi" i don't want to say anything to him..i don't want him to come anymore to my life... "would like to go out with me? i feel like to hangout with someone"..someone,not somebody special? even i don't want i moved my head to say yes. he came to me & hold my hand and i just followed him...

we walked little far in the college backyard and little bit talked. mostly he talked & i listned..ohh i love listning to him. but why he like Niki? i mean why he was with Niki? did he really came to see me?

he dropped me near the room & i went for dreaming..dreaming for a better world...world with full of colours...

it was not like other days...i wokeup early & Dave came to pick me ..he wanted to walk with me. i felt more happy while he was next to me in the room ,Niki should be getting jealous with me now.... he went with me to cafetaria first,had a coffee with sandwich. while walking on the road he was telling me some funny stories...he want me laugh...yeah he want me to be happy.... he was just going to sit with me and hear is this girl Amenda she ask him to come and sit with her....oh he is so famous now... why she want him ,she has the whole college. why he said yes? what is the hel is this? Amenda is the ladies head prefect of the college & she is everything a girl could ever have; beautiful, smart, fun, whatelse...everything. i was just so frustated...what the hell he is doing? may be he just want me just like his one of the casual friend....

in break Dave came back to me...Amanda might be with her boyfriend. i was sitting on one of the benches they put for the student who wants to stay alone... "hey don't want to eat?" he sitted next me even without asking if he could. "could you please leave me alone. mind your own business & i on't want to talk to you anymore. please don't think thst i like talking to you. just go away from hear"i don't know how i told that,but i did. he stood without telling anything & turned to go,but turned back and said "what do you think about your self? i was nice to you because i had to sit next to you and because i knew from others that you don't have anyone"what!!!! how he could ever tell to me lik that,it doesn't make any difference because that is me. i just wanted to jump forward & slap him"yeah i don't have anyone & i don't wish to have"before he left me there i left him.

with no inform i went to my room....i just wanted to cry. and i have no more tears.....

second by second,minute by minutes...days passed. Dave still seated nxt to me with no talks,i miss him...i was missing his voice,the way he talked to me.but i don't want to talk to him either. he sent me some flowers & a note saying he is sorry(i kept it still safe) and tried to talked,but i neglected...i knew i was wrong too. i was too jealous to see him with other girls. he was the only friend that i wanted to have but i jut lost him.

after the final exam every one was getting ready for the prom... i wanted also too. but i knew i don't have prince to go with. after the incident what happened i have changed lot. me and Niki used to talk also..... but it is too late. several times i wanted to go and talk to Dave....and then i thought no need. but start liking him more than before.

it was the day before for the prom. Niki was very kind to ask me to come with her to select outfits,i said no. what the use of going? i was sitting on the window watching bright lights....i used love them now,at least i'll remember(him)..... it was too boring. i went down with the evening black jacket...still black... "hey wait Mary"it was Dave..what is now? "i was searching for you every where.like to have a walk with you,please"i didn't say anything but moved my head like saying yes. we walked like before we used to. but i felt i knoe him more than before,i felt that i'm more closer to him. as usual he was talikng ...talking about his family,and what he is going to do after college... i was listning,i love listning to him. we walked so far....when we felt tired both of us seated on a beach. he was still talking and i was still listening. "Mary,i'm really sorry for what happened before"ohhhh he started,i don't want to remember that please. "i know you don't want to listened to me even you are now. i was liked that because i really care for you. i'm sorry""it is ok,i think you was correct"i just replied. but i know he was correct. "okk so promise me that you will forget about that" i looked at his face & smiled. "so....would like to be my princess for the prom"what!!!!!! i'm blank again,don't know what to tell. "i thought you are already reserved""no i was keeping it for you,i want to add some colours to your life & mine"but prom colours is only for a day... i wanted to tell him that but i didn't. he stood before me and asked"would you like to give me a chance to add colours to your life?"

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