The Creator's Castle

Dad says "what makes you think"

Dad says "Darrell licked it?"

Dad says "And who is Darrell any way?"

Singular Scribbler says "Note to self: Do not anger ex-imaginary boyfriends. Thankfully, I'm still on good terms with most of mine and I haven't been spitefully licked since 2010."

Mr Zaborskii says "That wasn't spiteful."

Dad says "Nobody answered my question. Who is Darrell?"

Singular Scribbler says "Says you! Only spite could motivate someone strongly enough to compel them to lick something as odd as this. Darrell is BBG's secret ex-imaginary boyfriend who may or may not have had a sex change depending on BBG's sexual preferences. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "BBG only has one sexual preference. If it's sex, he prefers it."

Dad says "The actual statement should read, if it's sex, he prefers it. If the sex is often, he prefers it. If the sex is hard and fast and hot and heavy ... oops, I think he just got over excited."

catty says "He does prefer it."

Singular Scribbler says "What if it's bad sex? "

Mr Zaborskii says "He prefers it... but not to good sex. Ooh, now you've thrown a wrench into the BBG logic machine. If he were here, you would fry his central processor, or send him into an infinite for loop, freezing whatever programs his brain was running."

Singular Scribbler says "I love watching a guy get stuck in a for loop. All he can do is stand there and spazz until someone closes the program. "

Dad says "*refuses to close the program*"

catty says "FOR loop's sake, someone pass around the little sausage wienies and BBQ sauce!"

Mr Zaborskii says "BBQ sauce coming right up! As for the sausage, this castle doesn't have a meat processing plant. You'll have to take your pick from the herd of swine outside. *Hands catty a machete* Happy hunting!"

Singular Scribbler says "The thought of a cat dodging left and right amidst a herd of pigs is rather amusing. Moreso since that cat is attempting to brandish a blade at the same time."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "It's like that cat in boots, isn't it? "Tenez encore, vous porcine ! Vous doit se sentir ma lame ! ""

Mr Zaborskii says "*claps excitedly* "Way to go, French-speaker! I didn't understand it, but way to go!"

Dad says "Oh, don't go giving Steve's ego a boost. His idea of speaking French is saying "Vavavoom" when he sees a pretty girl. By the say, according to my free translation service, it means Hold still, you swine! You must feel my blade."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "I would love to be a dashing cat in leather boots and feathered cap who speaks French! https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/74/Pussboots.jpg"

Dad says "There are 2 reasons you'd like to be that. 1) He has hair. 2) He is otherwise naked. You, sir, are a pervert. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "But one that speaks French, monsieur! Toutes choses sont possibles pour celui qui parle français ! "

Mr Zaborskii says "*claps again, but softer because the novelty is wearing off* "One advantage is that cats don't have to watch their P's and Q's (their tiny tongues couldn't drink fast enough to get them drunk) so he'd never get kicked out a bar for drinking too much."

Mr Zaborskii says "But one disadvantage immediately follows."

Dad says "And it is that their tiny tongues couldn't drink fast enough to get them drunk"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "The curse of the tiny tongue! Lucky dog with that big fat wet lick anything tongue! ... Dog lover: Someone who giggles when their dog licks their face even while being completely aware their dog also licks his unmentionables."

Dad says "*realizes he is a dog lover, vomits*"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Look on the bright side. You never know where a human tongue has been either. "

Dad says "*Tries to stick out his tongue and look at it at the same time, (not realizing there is a mirror in the next room), gets crick in neck from hell*"

Mr Zaborskii says "From Hell, eh? You'd think you would have gotten the crick in the neck from trying to look at your own tongue. I guess I know nothing of these things."

Singular Scribbler says "I like that we're ignoring the implication that a human tongue could come from having recently licked someone/thing's unmentionables. Kisses anyone?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Uh, no thanks, you have "unmentionables" breath. Care for a Tic-Tac?"

Singular Scribbler says "I already have one. How do you think I got the "unmentionables" breath in the first place? It's a special edition."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Tic Tac Privates... for when you want to give that "I've been around the block a few times" impression! Also try our new Tic Tacs For Pets... Dead Mouse for cats and "What Just Fell Out Of My Butt?" for dogs."

Singular Scribbler says "Hahahahahaha. I'd buy that, just to have it. And anyone who came to my house would be shown my specialty tic-tac display. "

Mr Zaborskii says "It would certainly explain a lot about your breath."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Tic Tac Professor... for the breath that needs explaining."

Dad says "While were on the subject of deodorizing products, Mom show me a deoderant in the store. Right next to the musk fragerance, there it was. The fragerance was "Natural." I said, "I put on, and smell like I woulda, without putting it on? Someone's a genius.""

Mr Zaborskii says "For some reason, the first time I read that, "I woulda" definitely looked like Vodka."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Understandable since that's what Dad smells like. In fairness to the NATURAL fragrance, I'm sure what it does is make you smell even MORE like you naturally do. It's like salt does for flavor, it enhances your natural aroma. It's the anti-Febrez."

Dad says "That's ridiculous. I may be a drunk, but I never smelled like vodka. Cheap beer, bad rum, rotgut whiskey, bathtub gin maybe, but NEVER vodka."

Mr Zaborskii says "Rum? Gin? Do you also wear an eye patch and terrorize random boaters?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "He likes to put on a wolf mask and go around the neighborhood threatening to "blow your house down"."

Dad says "No, I subscribe to the Archie Campbell school of Rindercella. I approach good looking young women and threaten to "hoe their blouse down.""

Mr Zaborskii says "Unexpected plot twist: the Creators' Castle is actually an asylum for the treatment of the hopelessly ironic."

Dad says "At last! A home!"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Treatment? I'd rather have mint treats. "

Mr Zaborskii says "Ah! Irony! I wonder, if such an asylum existed, would it be filled with people who were not ironic in the slightest bit?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "That would depend on whether it was an ironic asylum for the treatment of the hopelessly ironic or whether it was an asylum for the ironic treatment of the hopelessly ironic. You have described the first case. In the second case it's just a place to live."

Mr Zaborskii says "I... don't even know what to say to this. *starts clapping* Well played, my friend."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Thank you. Should I speak some more French now? Oh, that ship has sailed, eh? Or as we say in zee old country: Ce navire a navigué!"

Dad says "Damn it! Maintenant, j'ai de rechercher ce que vous venez de dire. C'est beaucoup plus à la recherche ! Et vous savez combien j'aime à faire de la recherche ! "

Mr Zaborskii says "... *blinks* ... yes."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Actually, the all-purpose "safe" answer is "maybe, but I need time to think about it". Just a stark "yes" can get you in trouble."

Mr Zaborskii says "Steve... your wisdom exceeds words."

Dad says "I've often called Steve a wise ass. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "There is a great Wikipedia article on donkeys and asses. Favorite line: "Donkeys have a notorious reputation for stubbornness, but this has been attributed to a much stronger sense of 'self preservation' than exhibited by horses." Heehee! Bam! Horses!"

Dad says "I guess asses just need a better PR guy."

Singular Scribbler says "There are only so many people willing to work for them. They're tough bosses. And they almost NEVER give a raise. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Season's Greetings, said the pepper shaker."

Dad says "She bolted for the door, looking for assorted nuts."

catty says "I'm just bolting the door to keep the nuts out!"

Dad says "Mel Brooks stole it? "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Is the time stamp anything like the forever stamp?"

Dad says "Then it fits here perfectly! Our work here is done!"

catty says "Well, there will always be the ghosts, lurkers and of course the one-night-stands."

catty says "Unless they bought one night and got the second night free. Then it really wouldn't be a one-nighter. It would be a two-nighter. That's just below the average suspicious radar a one-night-stand would produce. Just sayin."

Dad says "*nods* *wonders why Steve hasn't said anything*"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "I'm trying to stay just below the average suspicious radar."

Dad says "Oh, hell, Steve. We're suspicious of you, regardless of what you do or do not do. We know you too well."

catty says "Or not at all well. Which is it?"

Dad says "No. We know him too well. At all is too well"

catty says "Are we sure it's really him and not his clever clone? "

Dad says "Steev? Clever? Hast thou lost thy mind?"

catty says "You know I only ever found bits and pieces of it!"

Dad says "It exploded?"

catty says "Might have been eaten, could have exploded, probably fell apart."

Dad says "Could someone have mistaken it for a marble and stolen it? Is that a possibility? That's what happened to mine, ya know."

catty says "Could be a possibility. Could also be Martian in origin. But why are we dabbling in possibilities? We need certainties. "

Dad says "I am certain there are unlimited possibilities!"

catty says "I am certain that I always believe in myself. "

catty says "I think I'm certain."

Dad says "It's possible you are certain. It's certain there are possibilities."

catty says "Of a certainty."

Dad says "Maybe. (screams in horror) "

catty says "Maybe. (Screams in horror)"

Dad says "*Screams in horror* Uh, explain to me again why we're screaming. "

catty says "Uncertain. **speculates**"

Dad says "*wonders why catty fantasizes about her spectacles*"

catty says "I secretly suspect a spectacle of spectacles would be spectacular!"

Dad says "Shouldn't the group name for spectacles be a bifocal of spectacles?"

catty says "A frame of mind which requires greater thought, I suspect this shall take some time."

Dad says "A frame of spectacles is a good choice, too!"

catty says "A very good choice. We need to tag Steeve, there aren't nearly enough posters in here. They seem to follow him as a tail would follow the dog."

Dad says "I'll tag him! I'll tag him! May I please use a baseball bat to tag him?"

catty says "User whatever you may wish, just as long as it's foam rubber."

Dad says "You're no fun"

catty says "I hardly ever am. "

Dad says "Not what I've heard. 'Couese, I was the one spreading those scandalous stories "

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