"A Problem Page For All!"

Usually when people ask me the question about being unsocialized because of not going to school I get all defensive and just say quickly that I do have friends. Which is true. However, to be honest, yes, I do feel like I missed out on some social opportunities because I didn't go to school. I mean, when you go to a big place with lots of people gathered -- whether that be a workplace, school, or shopping mall -- there're opportunities to see people, meet people, and become friends. When you stay at home seeing nobody, you miss those opportunities. I'm not sorry I didn't go to school; I feel like the benefits of unschooling far, far outweigh the drawbacks for me. The high school I would've gone to is huge and has a reputation for being pretty impersonal and not fun for the students. I do have the option of going to college; I could if I wanted to, but from the couple classes I've had at HC (where my dad works and where I can get free tuition) I don't feel like the general student attitude really matches mine. I feel so very, very different from so many people around here. They're content to live all their lives in this city, taking pleasure in smelling the roses along the way, and die in this city. I want to do big things, reach for the stars, change the world. I don't really care if I do it all from my house here on my pretty, tree-shaded street (although I'd like to get out in the rest of the world...), but I'm not happy with the small things. I want big things, weird things, unique things in my life.

Sigh. I'm not making any sense. I think what I'm trying to articulate is that even if I went to school and had friends who I could hang out with at the local coffee shop, I don't think those friends would really be filling the need I currently feel. I've had plenty of opportunities to socialize around here -- church groups, library groups, homeschool groups, theatre groups -- and I quit all of them after a while and lost contact with the friends I'd made, because those friends and I didn't have the same interests, the same dreams, the same ways of our minds working. I've made friends and chosen not to keep the relationships going because I wasn't getting anything out of the friendship. If I wanted someone to hang out with on the weekends, sure, I could get that. But I don't want just that. I want soulmates here in Huntington. And that doesn't seem to be happening.

Does that answer your question? I'm sorry that I'm not very lucid today!

Oh, thanks for the second batch of photos that you sent! Joshua is so adorable!! I love the pics!!

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