"A Problem Page For All!"

 (This message was edited by ise-sky on 07-10-04 @ 6:56 pm EDT)

Good Heavens, Zib! What a story. Thanks for telling me e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! Really. I love minute details like the ones you gave. I have some questions:

...and Grandpa was saying that Cherie going to grad school had done bad things to the family, and I jumped in at that point and wished I hadn't so I left to find Steve. So, how did you jump in? What did you say?

What do you mean "I knew I had been had?" That's so interesting -- do you mean that you felt like your grandpa had taken your picture because he likes how you look (that sounds weird and creepy)? Did you feel just like an image of beauty being captured for someone else's selfish reasons?

Gosh, that sucks majorly that your grandparents are so infatuated with their Chinese "protegees". That reminds me so much of my own grandma, Grandma McMurtry, who is crazy about other cultures and is in love with someone of a different race all the time. I mean, not that your grandparents are like that. What I'm saying is that Grandma M. has always seemed to favor other people over us, even other people's kids and grandkids! It's absurd. Mum has issues with her, but doesn't want to create any ripples -- and believe me, Grandma M. is extremely touchy and weird about everything so we all have to tiptoe around. I've felt second best to so many other people -- my cousin Jacob's ex-girlfriend Maya, a stunning Filipino girl, his fiancee Christina, Grandma M.'s neighbors' kid Jameson, Jacob's friends' kids, our neighbors' daughter Jessica, etc, because Grandma M. has made it seem like they're much more interesting, lovely, precious, unique, and exciting than me.

Anyway...what you wrote had me cracking me up as I was reading it at Nathan's house, and I kept telling him, "Listen to this!" and "Can you believe this situation?" It was kind of darkly comical.

It's so weird how accustaions just bubble right up to the surface and pop before you can blink an eye. Like how your grandpa all of the sudden let loose and started saying that Cherie has a lot of anger and stuff. It's always like that in my family, too. We'll all be tense and polite and smiling, and, without even raising a voice or throwing a book down, someone will tilt the mood the rest of the way over to negativity and say something like, "You know, that really pisses me off how you never_______" or "Why do you always look at me like that? Don't give me that look..." or whatever. I can't think of any good examples.

I can't believe how your grandpa asked, "Are you feeling so bad today?" to Cherie, as if that would be the reason that she didn't want her picture taken! What effort does it take to pose and have your photo taken? Weird. I wonder how I would get along with these grandfolks of yours!

Oh, and it's also puzzling to me why he would say that Cherie going to school was messing up your family. Was that a sexist statement? What were his reasons for saying that?

What a yucky, yucky, nassy bad situation Zibby. It sounds like your relatives and family are clashing, like continental plates grinding against each other -- do this this way!; no, do it this way! -- and it's like you all have different ideas about what's what, what should be, and what is. Your family is so alternative and broad-minded. (Maybe your grandparents are, too, but I'm just making assumptions right now.)

I feel like such the black sheep of the family. My grandparents want me to be such a frickin' perfect girl, you know what I mean?? They want pictures of me in front of flowers, smiling, and maybe with a decent, clean, friendly, white guy at my arm. They want me to like "cute" clothes and have shiny, smooth hair and like stupid movies and like "normal" music.

Too bad for them that they can't bribe me to climb into the pink jewelry case with them all, where a ballerina spins and music tinkles prettily. I'll forever be straying, skipping, and hissing away, in my gyspy skirts, loud sweaters and earrings, my crazy laughter and "disturbing" music. It's amazing to think just narrow their minds are. I mean, if I explained to them my surreal thoughts or talked about basic spiritual ideas, they would blink and scratch their heads. I should just give them subtitles when I talk.

I'm waffling on, but all this irritance and discomfort is crammed inside me and I need to pull it out and analyze it.

Feel freer than free to rant more about your relatives!! I'm never uninterested.

Hurry up and call meeee! Or I might just have to beat you to it.