Estratest, that's it! That's the combo male/female hormone. I couldn't remember the name of it since I rarely used it.
More and more research is showing that HRT is not the best thing in the world to have. My birth parents both have histories of heart disease, so there's yet another reason for me not to be on HRT.
I know what you mean about not being able to live with yourself. Before the surgery, I cried at the drop of a hat. I love to cry, so that was never a problem. Now... I feel as though I have no soul sometimes. I know that's eerie and weird, but it's true. I feel so empty and I hate that about myself because I really like caring about people. But sometimes, when the whatever it is hits me, I just don't care.... I hate that.
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