Sunni's Review &Edit - closed

Okay, here's the thing. I don't think I like Hawthorne's style of writing, so it was hard for me to review this piece of work. Pleas bear that in mind...

The descriptions were beautiful (once I looked up half of the words.... I could see the house, the setting, all of it. You set up the feeling of the piece very well.

I'm a little confused about the character's previous relationship with this "father". Does he think it is really his father? (the devil is using the disguise of his real father?) or had he had a previous brush with the devil when he was young? The way I see it is that he is at his childhood home and thinks it is really his father.

All the suggestions I came up with are grammatical. I don't think I am qualified to advise any other aspect of a piece written in a style I have never written in. Here they are:

1) You write: An apt felicitous house, settled itself as the comfortable, good believer reclining in his own old ways of faith and regret. "apt" and "felicitous" are the same thing so if you are using both, maybe put a comma between them.

2) You write: Apart from the ornate decorations on the exterior, a sweet fidelity accompanied the inside of the house, never had temptation of the youthful new fashion, or attractiveness of the flamboyant style replaced the presence of plain, handcrafted woodworkings from an outdated age. That is a really long sentence. You could break it into a couple of them by writing: Apart from the ornate decorations on the exterior, a sweet fidelity accompanied the inside of the house. Never had temptation of the youthful new fashion, or attractiveness of the flamboyant style replaced the presence of plain, handcrafted woodworkings from an outdated age.

3) You write: The plates were gold, and linen white cloth draped itself over the bold flickering candles. Is this right? I have visions of the table cloth on fire

4) You write: “I father am not so fortunate, when I left, I lost everything. I would change this to: “I, father am not so fortunate(change "," to a ".") (capitalize "W") When I left, I lost everything.

5) You write: “By knowing that you are safe now, and that your forte in battle shall transfer over now that the war is over, everything you learned in war, about men will carry over with you, in your next journey.”Another long sentence. Could be reworded to: “By knowing that you are safe now, and that your forte in battle shall transfer over now that the war is over. Everything you learned in war(delete ",") about men will carry over with you(delete ",") in your next journey.”

6) There were a few instances where you used "u" instead of "you": “Your sister loved you, though ‘fun,’ is a personal torture u inflicted upon her.and “Father what do u mean?”

Sorry if I wasn't able to be of much help to you. Thank you for submitting your story to "Sunni's Review &Edit - closed" 
Writing is an Expression of the Mind and Soul---Sunni17