Okay, your review really amused me but I can't say your advice of staying away for the machines writing stories is a valid suggestion. I mean, if you had given a couple of quotes from there and talked about how it was too simplistic and a writer should be able to write it better, then give a better example, sure. But while your review amused me, I can't give you a ticket for that. I did send it to Angelica Weatherby- NaNo 50k!, in case she disagrees, but I'm guessing not. I'll post here again if I'm wrong.
Good try, but I mean REAL suggestions to ACTUALLY improve this specific piece.
Keep at it! You're still way ahead of the rest of those yokels!
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