Masktrix emailed me a version of this post. I gave him a kind of answer privately. Then I asked him to post the question publicly, because I was curious to see how other people read that.
(In fact, it was Masktrix's email that caused me to break that branch off a chapter early. The last chapter was kind of boring, and I also decided that the next chapter ought to be used to more thoroughly explore Will's reactions.)
I would say that Prussian55 reads my authorial intentions clearly. But Masktrix's reaction signals that there's problem with the exposition. Will doesn't have a chance to breathe—he hardly has a chance to think—during the confrontation with Frank and Joe, and he really needs to do that.
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