I think it would be really difficult to be a military kid and have to move around all the time like that. I can totally understand why you'd stop trying to make friends because you know you're going to end up leaving at some point and have to make new friends.
I'm sorry to hear that you have such bad relationship anxiety. I hope you're taking care of yourself in your current relationship so that you're not putting too much stress on your heart. It's great that your current relationship is more supportive, but you don't need to have expectations set for you. There aren't 'failed' expectations if they're set by someone else.
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