Mystical Meditations

I was diagnosed with major depression at the age of 14. I am now 54 and still learning to live with it. I am now medicated with the right med and the right dosage. Even with the meds finally right, I still have to strive to think positive and to keep myself out of the dark hole of depression. I've learned many things about this illness in my years. A stay at a state hospital helped me understand my condition immensely. While doctors I'd seen previously had medicated me for being bipolar, I'd never believed that was the case. While in the state hospital, the psychiatrist there noticed that I am not bipolar, I do not have the "highs" associated with it, but I DO suffer the lows of depression. There is a great difference that I wasn't aware of until then. I have learned, too, to accept my illness as just that...a disease just as is cancer and such. The hardest part is helping my family to understand. My family has never understood that many of my failures are caused by my disease. I suffer, too, from Borderline Personality Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have educated myself on these issues and have learned to recognize the symptoms and I try to keep them in check. Imo there is nothing that can be done for PTSD, except to recognize the symptoms so that you realize it is the condition that makes you do certain things and react in certain ways. Concerning the Borderline Personality Disorder, I found that one of the symptoms is acting on impulse and making bad impulsive decisions. I also found that my failure to maintain close friendships and relations for extended periods of time can be caused by Borderline Personality Disorder. Knowing these things helps me to understand why I do some of the things I do. My mental issues are not scary to me anymore, nor do I consider them character flaws. I would love to discuss any of these conditions with others who suffer. I'm so glad I found this group!