We Need to Have A Talk About Writing...

Hi Thundersbeard,

Quite a delightful little story, perhaps for a younger reader. I thought it was well written. The relationship and jossing between siblings was realistic. Good framing/setup of story, appropriate dialogue, a light touch of good mystery, and of course of the magical. Pegasus is a character of Roman and Greek myths - though Wikipedia informed me that it is now commonly used for any winged horse - and even suggests the plural might be pegasi.

I wasn't sure about your `steam punk' tag - there being no mention of mechanical/historic reversions - but I'm no expert in the genre. It may be you merely mean to allude to an alternative world, as in steam-punk.

There were a few minor edit points:

`Nevertheless(,) I (trumped) over to the hen house.' - I think you might mean `tromped', another good word from Lewis Carroll is `galumph'.

`...with the animals. And (I) it didn’t mean collecting eggs'

“The one with the wings(,) son.'

“You know why I don’t mind (that) mine doesn’t come with wings Jonnz?”'

Hope suggestions help.

All the best