We Need to Have A Talk About Writing...

I liked the rural setting of this story and the gentle teasing between the siblings. The imagery was really nice too. This story has a lot of potential to shine with just a bit of work, in my opinion.

Though your description mentioned steampunk, I didn't really get a sense of that in the story. I'm thinking maybe it could be diesel punk with the prescence of the old truck (as steampunk is usually set in the late 1800s to the very early 1900s, diesel punk is set after that all the way up to the 1950s). But that's just my two cent's worth. *Smile*

I did notice the misuse of an apostrophe in two places. It was where the description of how the Pegasus' wings were furled against its body. Just remember that "it's" means "it is". Other than that, I didn't see any other errors.

Overall I felt this was a pretty good children's story. Your opening line was definitely eye-catching and drew me in. Keep up the good work! I look forward to retreading this after a little editing.