Writing Forum

Re-reading through my Sci-Fi collection, I came to the one I'm now reading..( or attempting to read.. The Authors, 2 in this case, have done EVERYTHING I Hate )

First I'll talk about Repetition of Names... quite often the Full Name.

On page 70 something I pretty well Know who 'SHE' is, but the author finds it necessary to Repeat 'Carol' so I won't forget... I guess he thinks I'm an idiot.

The MFC is swimming, quite alone, 1/4 mile out from the beach, thinking about what got her started on this venture. ( she's a Reporter )
Her name, sometimes her Full Name is mentioned 10 times on that page.

It gets worse. Attempting to rent a Charter Boat, 'she' is now talking to the Captain.
Each is named 6 times on that page... Always 'Captain Full Name', never 'He'... And when he leers at her and speaks... I know he is speaking, but the author lets me know anyway... with a Tag-Line embedded in the quote..( another thing I hate)
And EVERY line of dialogue is broken to insert that UNNECESSARY Tag-Line.

[ Captain Full Name leered at Name. "So you want to Charter my boat," Captain Name asked,"for this afternoon?"] I'm soooo glad I now know he was asking a question... I may have missed that ' ? '.

It gets worse. We are introduced to the Captain's First Mate.. ( now there are 3, but thankfully her name is just Eva ).. Eva's name is mentioned 6 times, Carol 6 times and the Captain 5 times on that page.
(( you can tell how exciting the story is... I spend more time counting than reading))

Next I'll mention Endless Descriptions.
Carol was wearing a blue one-piece swimsuit on her swim... The author used 1/4 page to describe it. I did it in 4 words. Eva was wearing a black leotard with an open back and prominent bulges in the front.. that used up nearly half a page.
Carol was using specialized Eqpt. in her search of the sea floor... Two and a half pages were used to describe, in infinite detail, how the eqpt worked. However she didn't know any of that. She just knew where the 'on' switch was.

Everyone in the story gets a Full Bio... mostly unnecessary, but it does increase the 'word count'.

Things in a story that just seem 'improbable'.
The Navy lost a missile that went off-course.. they have been searching for 5 days.
Carol charters a boat for ONE AFTERNOON, searches 10 sq. miles of sea bottom, and FINDS IT????? With enough time to make a Dive down to it??

I hadn't decided if I even wanted to finish the story. Now I know.

So misters Arthur C Clark and Gentry Lee, your book 'Cradle' is headed for my BURN PILE.