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Rated: 13+ · Message Forum · Writing · #1474311
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Oct 21, 2015 at 5:36pm
#2895874
Edited: October 21, 2015 at 5:50pm
Re: Re: Re: Pesky Words
by A Non-Existent User
I hit on this yesterday in another post. Overuse of He said/ She said example. Pick up the newspaper. It's like they think you will forget who is talking in the middle of a long quote so every other sentence ends with He said or She said. Drive's me bananas.

In the 8th grade I had an English teacher and reading teacher who went out of their way to get the school board to change the curriculum for the 8th grade in the second semester to actually writing stories and learning how to develop characters and plot lines. They got it changed because of me. They knew just reading the same old books for the Literature semester would bore me to tears. I had read everything on the list despite my dyslexia. They thought I had the potential to be a famous writer one day so they changed it for me.

I will never forget our discussion on He Said/ She said... If you need to use it use it. Are you having a conversation between several people and confusing yourself? Then use it. Are you using it because you don't know what else to say to separate character dialogue? Don't use it. Instead you can write...

"James, you know this is a big responsibility." James turned away from the window to look at his sister, her eyes filled with concern.

"He was my best friend, Jane. How do I not take care of his kids. It was his last wish." She stood there in silence, her short blond hair bobbing around her face as she shook her head.

"James, you just got home. You have to finish college and find a job and..." Jane's words trailed off as her hands flew into the air in frustration. "You've already made up your mind haven't you?"


No where did I even use the word said. How did she say it? How did he say it? To me it falls into that category of don't tell me how he walked across the floor, show me. Don't just tell me what he said and that he said it tell me what he was doing while he was talking.

Does that mean don't use he said? Of course not. But, when done properly, you really don't miss it until you get a reporter turned fiction writer that can't let it go.

As to the Adverbs yes not using "very" is a good idea. Very is a poor excuse of a word. Very what? we all remember the commercial or some of us anyway... Kerri is so very. Very what?

However... show me a more concise way to say: She sang the piece beautifully. How did she sing? Beautifully. Beautifully is an adverb Sure I could write it to say something like Her beautiful singing left me floored but if I am writing in an Omniscient voice that kind of doesn't work.

I'm not sure you can write Omniscient past tense and not use adverbs unless your also using limited voice which I can't seem to do. All of my characters have a voice so they all have a say.

Every type of writing has its point and place. That is why the banning of anything bothers me as much as the banning of books. Tell me not to do it and that is the first thing I am going to want to do.

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MESSAGE THREAD
Pesky Words · 10-21-15 8:12am
by Sarah Rae Author IconMail Icon
Re: Pesky Words · 10-21-15 9:37am
by Cadie Laine - spooky eyed lady Author IconMail Icon
Re: Pesky Words · 10-21-15 4:53pm
by Professor Q Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Pesky Words · 10-21-15 5:05pm
by BrandiwynšŸŽ¶ Author IconMail Icon
*Star* Re: Re: Re: Pesky Words · 10-21-15 5:36pm
by A Non-Existent User
Re: Re: Re: Re: Pesky Words · 10-21-15 6:59pm
by Noyoki Author IconMail Icon
Re: Re: Re: Pesky Words · 10-21-15 5:44pm
by Lorien Author IconMail Icon

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