I had a look at the frst two paragraphs of the first "Henry Poter" and I think I can see what the editors are refering to. Unfortunatly the tools provided by software are limited and while spelling and some grammer issues are easily identified, software is not as good at suggesting fixes. At least not as good as software manufactures would like us to believe.
One obvious problem is with your verb tenses. You begin by using present tense "Henry sits in the old chair" but often switch to past tense "Was / were / stumbled"
An easy rule of thumb with punctuation is less is more. It is easy to put far too many commas in. Other puntuation should be used only when absolutly neccessary. I have been told by editors that they reject anything, novels included, with a total of four or more exclamation marks in it. The only exclusion is speech marks. Many novels do not contain a single colon, semi-colon or hypen.
--
A Preston Rover,
Living Afloat, on a dirty old boat.
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