Mystical Meditations

Hello Everyone! Allow me to introduce myself. I am Daddy's Girl, my name is Bonnie Gay Tyler, and I have been here almost a year. My joining the Brainstormers Group was to share what I've been through, and my willingness to be open and honest and help others when I can and if they want my help. I was diagnosed as a Schizophrenic when I was only 23. Truthfully, I knew there was something wrong with me even at the young age of 17. Placed in a stressful situation away from friends and someone I once loved, the stress mounted and I began to feel odd to myself whenever I looked in the mirror. I had a haggard look. Even at 17 I knew that that was not normal. But I continued on along, not telling anyone of my feelings, and things remained hidden for the time being. Later on, I had a breakdown, but my family was so unaware, that they didn't think it odd that I spent all my time alone, in my room and had apparently lost any worth I had once felt for who I was. I no longer did my nails, or fixed my hair, or even bathed. I let myself go and put on the weight it had been so hard to lose in the first place. But as all things do, the problem slowly went into remission, even though I didn't have medication. At 21, I joined the Civil Service group and worked for "Uncle Sam". Eventually the job got to me, as did all the things happening at home, and I began acting irrationally. In a round-about way, I was taken to see a psychiatrist. That's when, after a few minutes talking to me, he diagnosed me as having schizophrenia. They put me on Mellaril and I had an adverse reaction to it. I stopped taking it on my own, and crashed after a few weeks. I was hospitalized for 8 days, and as I had signed myself in, which should not have happened, I was perfectly within my rights to sign myself out and I did on the 8th day and walked home. It was a 5 mile hike, but I made it. They then put me on Stelazine which was a great improvement, and Artane to give my muscles relief from the effects of the Stelazine.
I was on it for years. Currently I am medicine free. I was on Trilafon as the disease cam back after a while of not taking med's., and I have been on that medication since 1981 when my Mother passed away. I have had good psychiatric care, real many self-help books, and learned from my husband the benefits of meditation and discipline.

I am willing and able to give help when asked for, talk with anyone about the illness, or my life, or just how I came to be medicine free. It was a long journey, but one well worth taking, because in the search for wellness and freedom, I have found myself and know that I am created by God and am unique. None of us are alike. That's why we are all here, to learn from one another. At least that is my view point. I don't want to go on and on here as you may want to ask a question or make a comment. I have read many self-help books that have given me tools to work with on myself. The work is up to us. The Doctors can give counseling, medication and such, but the real work has to be done by the one who is ill. That's where the difficulties lay and I am here to try to help anyone who needs it. Or just to relate my own story. Thank you for your time, and don't give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know, because I am basking in it every day now, and will for the rest of my days!

Sincerely,
Bonnie Tyller









** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Bonnie "Daddy's Girl" Tyler