Something Awful Comes This Way!

My doorbell wasn't working
So I called the experts in
Their half-page Ad in the phonebook
Said 'We're the Lord Of The Rings'
Such banging and a-shouting!
It really made me cower
I opened to this wee chap
"I'm bleedin' banging for an hour!"
"Well good for you!" I countered
"Such sexual smugness is appalling!"
"My time is precious to me
And here's my card. I'm Gollum"
"Well the service I require
Does not require you be nude
Kindly retrieve your clothing
From the last client if you would."

Gollum, it proved, was really good
(And I'm not one for flattery )
When he returned he fixed the bell
(It needed a new battery)